You don’t have to explain why you said No.
You don’t have to feel guilty about saying No.
Every time you can say No and YOU are clear why the answer is No – what you are doing is letting go of something (habits, thoughts, places, people) that is keeping you stuck. You can move on and let come a whole new you.
If you don’t know what or who to say No to…listen to the voice inside…just listen… the answer is already there.
While looking to see if Ridea.com was available I stumbled across a Mooji talk about Relationships, Searching for Truth, Wisdom and Universal Love….it was the only thing on that website…the ONLY thing…
…Those little things that you “discover” by chance; aren’t by chance.
The sign.The squirrel. The song. The whisper. The rock. The person.
It’s that “universal thing” that’s always with us. It’s always trying to reach us — to give us hope when we feel hopeless — to keep us on track and to answer our questions…
…By “chance” I discovered this video and…now… so did you.
~Peace, Ridea
It’s hard not to try to “fix” someone’s life that you love, especially if it’s your child, and it doesn’t matter if they are “grown” to the world or to themselves, you still see them as YOUR child.
Over the holidays I was keenly reminded that you can’t “fix” someone else’s life. You have to let go of trying to force fit your idea of what they should do, and how they should live.
Now, you can tell them how you feel (because no one can argue with your feelings), but that’s about it. They have to “fix” it for themselves, because it’s their life to live how they choose, and guess what… they might not think their life needs fixing.
How this lesson came home to me over the holidays: Trying to Fix my Son’s Toilet.
The moment I walked in his house I noticed all the things I needed to do to clean it up/fix.
One of the things on “my”list was the toilet that was continuing to run.
I went to Lowe’s and brought what I need to “fix” the toilet.
Now, mind you I’ve NEVER tried to fix a running toilet before. I don’t know what made me think I could fix my son’s. I’ve never even fixed my own, but I was not afraid to try to fix his.
Needless to say it was NOT an easy task. I fixed one issue and another one sprung up — with a leak here and there –that wasn’t there before I started.
Over the two weeks I was at his house, it basically boiled down to me praying to a higher power to help me fix the toilet. I certainly did not want to create another problem for him to deal with.
My son came in from work and I showed him the issues with the toilet.
Now, in all of this time – 10 days or so – I’d been worrying about and trying to fix this toilet.
My son calmly walked over to look at the toilet. He talked it through (maybe this needed to be tighten, or adjusted here or there) and he worked on it for about 15 minutes.
Guess what….for the most part he’d fixed his own toilet.
I realized that I can not “fix” his life how I think it should/could be anymore than I could “fix” his toilet.
At the end of the day, the type of connection that has to be apart of any lasting love relationship has to include someone who knows your heart…and is not trying to break it.
This song when sang by Lianne La Havas is just so AMAZING because you can actually hear and “feel” the words the way she sings it.
Does the below depict your love life? If not, rethink it, rekindle it, rework it, or let go of what you have and let come a love life…that makes you feel like you’re the only girl in the world…
We search. We hope. We pray. We believe.
We look to find someone “else” who will “really” love us.
Someone who will make us happy.
Someone who will like to do the things that we like to do.
Someone who will support us.
Someone who will listen to us.
Someone who will go through life with us.
We look.
We go here. We go there.
We are looking for that special someone to love us.
Eventually we think that we are going to find that person and it’s going to be the right fit.
It’s going to FEEL right.
It’s going to BE right.
It’s going to BE for life.
It’s going to BE the real thing.
We are finally going to find and BE in love.
So, let’s say that you do find love. It works out. You live together happily for 20 years. Then that person dies.
Where are you? Where are you now?
You are left with wonderful memories of your time with them.
You’re probably hurt that they are gone. You miss them. You’re glad that you had a chance to get to know them. To love them. To be loved by them. To share your life with them. But they’re now gone.
So, where are you? You are alone, again. You are with yourself, again. You are back where you started right before you first came into this world. You are where you will be when you leave this world.
There is just no real way to ignore the fact that the first lesson in learning to love is to love yourself.
Get to know yourself.
Be in love with you, with who you are, what you’re about.
Someone will then always love you.
You will love you.
There is no need to suffer or settle when it comes to love or looking for love.
Once you discover the greatest love of all, and realize that it’s not just YOU that you are, but it’s greater than you, then everything starts to make sense — EVERYTHING.
Loving Yourself IS Loving God.
Loving Yourself IS Loving Your Neighbor.
There’s no separation. There is no isolation. In the end there is only Love.
What if there were a love that was so grand and great that you could not escape from it? There is – loving yourself and not listening to those voices in your head that tell you that you are un-loveable.
If you do find someone who shares this special understanding then let the awesome journey begin, but it won’t be a struggle. It will be natural and you will know they are the one. There is an inner wisdom that will let you know. The relationship will be founded and grounded in Love, in the awesome process of Loving and being Beloved and Supported.
Let Go of The Need to Look Outside of Yourself for Love, Happiness and Fulfillment. You will then open a space where those who can’t really love you (because they don’t love themselves) will fall away. Somehow the universe will remove them without much effort on your part. Don’t be afraid of being without them. Don’t worry, your beloved is already here, your beloved loves themselves and therefore can love you with an intense, dynamic and unselfish love.
You Must First Look Within
That Is Where You Must Start In Order to Understand Love.
Why Do We Hold On – When There is Nothing There?
Why Do We Keep Forgetting – This Is Not What We Want?
Why Do We Keep Telling Ourselves – It’s Something That It’s Not?
Why Can’t We Just Admit Things Have Changed?
Why Can’t We Accept That Everything Changes?
Why Not Just Let Go?
Because It’s Hard To Accept That Things Have Changed.
Because It’s Hard To Accept That We Have to Move On.
Because It’s Hard To Accept That The Ending Is Here
& It Aint What We Thought It Would Be.
So We Hold On…So We Hope… So We Pray…So We Believe…
What?…Things Will Change Back….Things Will Be Different…So…We Just Hold On…Until…It Ends…It Always Ends.
Everything Always Ends.
Learn to Let Go When You KNOW You Need to Let Go
Not When You HAVE to Let Go
You Can’t Hold On.
Life Is About Change and Change is About Letting Go,
Not Holding On.
By Ridea Richardson
Is there someone in your life that you know for sure
that you need to Let Go of?
It might be hard to actually do it,
but can you at least acknowledge it today?
How many times are you going to allow one person to hurt you?
Is once enough? (Of course not. Maybe it was an innocent mistake.)
Is twice too many times? (Okay, it’s not a mistake, it’s on purpose.)
What about three times? (A pattern is developing.)
How many times will you turn the other way?
How many times will you pretend it didn’t happen?
How many times will you act like it’s okay.
(You’re not really hurt. You’ll get over it.)
How many times will you talk yourself out of walking away so this person can’t hurt you anymore?
Of course, you could be wrong. Your perspective could be off. You could be overreacting.
When you are certain that you can not accept or live with the behaviors of others and how it impacts you, then it’s time to Let Them Go.
If you know in your heart that long-term you can not accept how they treat you
it’s just a matter of time before you have to face the facts.
What makes you think things are going to change?
You HOPE things are going to change.
You think it’s so hard to start over with a new relationship.
You think you’ve come so far with this person.
You think you won’t find anyone else who understands you as well.
But, you know that in all relationships there are
beginnings,
the middle
and endings.
You know that relationships change.
You know that sometimes that change is an ending.
There are some relationships that are like living in hell.
We wonder how we ended up in them and wonder still yet how to get out of them.
It’s worse when you discover a new relationship that feels great.
So you have to ask yourself – – –
Maybe this is when all you can do is JUST QUIT the one relationship that you know FOR SURE is hell.
Have the fortitude and courage to face the pain of ending something that is not working.
Some people hold on to relationships that are unhealthy because they believe that it’s better than nothing or they are afraid of letting go.
Have you ever met the type of person who stayed in a relationship (for years) and you thought the reason was because they were afraid of being alone, making it on their own, or just waiting for the kids to grow up?
It is so hard to break molds and behavioral patterns. It takes recognizing the need to change, then having the courage to Just Quit the relationship.
All you have to do is keep remembering that this is “your life”. Do you want to waste any more time with this person, or do you need to move on?
Just be honest with yourself. No matter how difficult this may be, just be honest with yourself.
Not that you will end the relationship tomorrow, but you need to make the decision today.
Sometimes those relationships that we need to Just Quit are with family members or “best friends”.
There comes a point and time in your life when you wake up one morning and realize that you can choose how you want to relate even to family and dear friends. Yes, you need to fulfill all of your obligations, but just be aware of the people in your life.
If you have family and “friends” who exhibit these behaviors then it might be time to ~ Break Free.
Let them go.
Don’t call them back.
Don’t continue to be used.
…and don’t wait until you think it’s the perfect time to leave.
The perfect time is NOW.
Just Quit.
It’s a liberating thing to do.
Relationships connect us to each other. Most of the time they are great and make life worth living. Sometimes they are not so good and then HARD to get out of because they are so familiar, so comfortable, and so everyday.
Relationships are complicated and involve many emotions, memories and ties. Even when a relationship is bad, at least it is the known versus the unknown. Even when a relationship is bad, at least it is some human contact that is familiar.
There are some relationships that we have that are not in balance. They are not healthy. Many relationships we want and need to improve, set some boundaries, or eliminate all together.
Your Relationships always include YOU
You’ll have to deal with the harder questions about yourself. You’ll have to figure out what attracted this type of person into your life. People are mere reflections of others. There is something in that person that is a reflection of you.
WHO WANTS TO HEAR THAT?
Unless you are ready and willing to deal with yourself, this person in your life does not matter. Even though they are making you miserable and bringing you down, and they don’t have your best interest in mind, it doesn’t matter.
It is not this person’s fault BECAUSE the person who is doing these things to you (to “your life”) may…just…really…be…you.
Even if you got rid of that person, you’ll probably attract another person just like them into your life. Then you’ll have the same type of situations to deal with, just with a new face.
If you’re honest with yourself, haven’t you found that to be the truth?
Learn to love yourself first, find yourself, be good to yourself…you have to start there first.