Finding Our Way

In order to find your way in your career or in life you need to stop “trying” and “struggling” to figure it all out. I know this is easier said than done when you are miserable.  What you will find is the more you struggle the more of a struggle it will be.

Just know that things will work out…in time…and…on time.  That is the rub, you have to wait. Rushing things doesn’t help.  

Fighting against what IS definitely doesn’t help. It’s a real mystery but when you embrace the suck of life then and only then do things start to fall into place.

You learn how to work through the pain that you are experiencing.

You start to look at it differently because you know that it is not permanent.

If you can learn to just experience the pain of your job or what’s happening in your life, you will find that you can and will survive.

Just experience it. It will end.  Everything ends. Good times end and so will these challenging times.

We will find our way.  We will all find our way. Embrace the current situation.

 

This Or Something Better

When you are in a job where you are miserable, or just at a place you want to leave, you can get caught up in trying to frantically search for a way out.  The job interview you just went on has to work out.  Why? Because you need out of your current job immediately.  If you have had a few jobs at this point in your life it can become a vicious cycle (new job – misery – new job – misery…). 

There is another WAY to approach a chronic job stress situation: ADD three words to your desire to get out.  “Let THIS (whatever it is/job/freelance opportunity/starting your own organization) work out OR SOMETHING BETTER.  

There might be something better for you that needs just a little more time to work out.  I do not say that lightly.  It is HARD not to panic daily when you are depressed and miserable because of your job.  

You just don’t think you can take ANOTHER day, let alone ANOTHER week, ANOTHER month, or ANOTHER year.  It feels impossible…but…guess what…you can.  Just remember that EVERYTHING CHANGES. No-thing is permanent.  Keeping this in mind you know that YOU WILL LEAVE THIS JOB ONE DAY.

Just think back, especially if you’ve been here before, why did you leave the last job you had?  You did survive then and you will this time too. The last thing you want to do is get into a NEW work situation where you end up depressed and miserable again.  

From this day forward:

“This Or Something Better.”  

It is a mature way to make decisions and the key that will set your soul free.

 

 

Step 4 - How to Find Your Purpose

 

Below is a great video about finding and communicating your Life’s Purpose…

(hang in there and get beyond the long introduction and silence in the beginning…it’s worth it)

 

 

Make Everyday Your Masterpiece.

“Nothing is original.

Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination.

Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows.

Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic.

Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery – celebrate it if you feel like it.

In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from – it’s where you take them to.”

                                            ~ Jim Jarmusch

Synchronize Your Life

World Order Japanese Band

Everything you have done;  everything you have learned; everyplace you have been; everything you have tried;  all of your successes; all of your failures;  everyone you have met, those you have loved and those you have loathed  — it has all brought you to this point in your life. It’s time to…

Pull it all together and create something uniquely you in the New Year.

Below is an example of what Genki Sudo created out of his martial arts background….how can you synchronize your life experiences to-date…make sense out of it all…put it all together… 

Live While You Live.

Keep Going.

Don’t Give Up.

Create & Keep Creating.

Go ahead, struggle through it. Pick up the pen already and put it to the page and stop whining. Write.

Pick up the brush and be mean to yourself for a change. Paint.

Dancers, put on the loose chemise, tie the ribbons in your hair,
at your waist, or on your ankles and tell the body to take it from there. Dance.

Actress, playwright, poet, musician, or any other. Generally, just stop talking, Don’t say one more word unless you’re a singer.

Shut yourself in a room with a ceiling or in a clearing under the sky.

Do your art.

Generally, a thing cannot freeze if it is moving.

So move.

Keep moving.

          ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The above picture is of the pencils that were on Frank Lloyd Wrights’ (the famous architect) desk when he died at 91 years old. He kept moving…he kept growing… through the ups and downs of his life (and there were MANY) he KEPT creating what was in him to create.

What are YOU waiting for?

It’s time to create what is in YOU to create (even if that is just to dust yourself off and re-create YOURSELF). GET UP and MOVE….and Keep Moving until you can move no  more…and don’t worry about “failure”…remember this is YOUR life…you have to do what YOU are passionate about…what YOU value…what represents YOUR gifts and highest skills…or else –  WHAT’S THE POINT???

Transform Yourself

 It Takes Courage to Grow Up and Be Who You Really Are

~ e. e. cummings

Have you grown up yet…or are you still trying to play the game of life within “the system”?

“The System” that says: “do-this, do-that, do-it-this-way, do-it-that-way, go-here, go-there, now-do-this-next…”.

What’s “the system” you might ask? The school system, the work system,  the money system, the holiday shopping for Christmas commercialization system, the government retirement system…should I go on or do you get the point?

Haven’t you had ENOUGH of the system? Aren’t you ready to stop playing the game of life by the systems rules now that you recognize it? Are you still afraid to question the system and worse yet, question yourself?  Are you afraid to question your beliefs?  What about questioning the control others have over you because of their beliefs, or going along with what you “should” do or believe.

Sometimes you have to dis-believe and carve your own path

…why…

Because this is YOUR life and YOU need to live it.

Are you afraid to take the risk and live your life and find your path?

Yes, you might have to admit that you’ve made some wrong turns here and there, but you have to be willing to right the ship.  Take the risk to change and be alright with the tunnel of change. It’s time to create a new you, not the you that you are “supposed to be”. It’s time to say yes to life and stop being “afraid” of fear or what “could” happen as you transform yourself.

Sometimes all it takes to say yes to your life is to question the answers.  The answers you’ve been giving yourself for all your life. Once you realize that this is your life, not  anyone else’s, but yours and that you are responsible for yourself and your decisions, you start the transformation process.

And yes, there are things you need to do, duties or responsibilities that you might need to bear…but question those to. Question all the “you aughta, you should, you must, you shall”…that you put on yourself or allow others to put on you.

You know how the story goes as that voice in your head starts telling you…

 “I can’t do this. I could never do that. I can’t quit my job. I can’t leave this relationship.”

EVERY TIME YOUR MIND TALKS TO YOU LIKE THAT ASK YOURSELF –

WHY NOT?

If you just keep asking yourself why not then you will realize that all those “reasons” why you can’t, couldn’t or  shouldn’t may not even be your own beliefs, but your parents, or your spouses, or from your culture – but not your own true beliefs.  These beliefs might be limiting you and holding you back.

What happens when you don’t question yourself?

You look up and you’re  in your 30’s , 40’s or 50’s and you have NO clue how you got where you are, with who you are with, in the profession that you are in and you feel like you either can’t or shouldn’t make a change.

How much time do you really think you have left in this life to be who you are supposed to be?

Honestly, think about that.

If you just stay stuck where you are, and if you aren’t growing, then you aren’t really living  you are existing and basically wasting your time — and your life. Your life is measured in time – seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years, and decades.  So where are you?   If it is day-after-day-after-day of the same drudgery, then ask yourself why you feel you have to exist like that. It makes NO sense.

 So, now,  what do you do?

1. Get by Yourself

Try solitude for short periods of time first and then for longer blocks of time.  If you MUST have people around you and stuff happening all the time you should ask yourself why that is.  Is it a distraction so you are not alone with your own “scary” thoughts? Are you scared to really figure things out and then do what you need to do?  Are you afraid to challenge the status quo – the known for the unknown?  Are you afraid of change?

The level of fear that you have to change is positively correlated to the level of fear that you have to living life — because life is about change.  

Being – Becoming – Being – Becoming

Letting Go – Letting Come 

2. Question Yourself

Question the answers to your questions.

You will be surprised just where that rabbit hole will take you.  Just keep asking yourself questions that start with “why” and/or “how”.  Don’t settle for the first or second answer either.  Ask it at least three times until you get to the heart of the matter.

Questioning yourself fully and allowing the answers to emerge will take you past fear, past doubt, and past ALL the lies you’ve been telling yourself (because you’ve been afraid of change or in other words to live your life authentically).  Now, when you do question yourself, you must be willing to allow even the scariest thoughts of “if I do this then this might happen” scenarios to emerge.  Just allow those thoughts.  What you find is once you allow them, then they aren’t so “scary” anymore.

It’s not easy to search and challenge your own assumptions, but if you keep doing what you’ve been doing you are going to keep getting what you’ve been getting… and if you are happy with where you are in life then you would not be reading this far into this post – so start questioning your assumptions!

3. Focus on Solutions

Who gives a hoot about the problem.  After you identify it as a problem it’s time to just singularly focus on solutions. I can’t tell you how many people I know or have known who tell me all about their problems.  I get that, but I always steer them to focus on solutions because whatever you focus on is what happens.

If you focus on finding problems or things “wrong” then that’s what you’ll find.  If you focus on solutions or on things “right”, then that’s what you’ll find.  (There is an entire theory called Appreciative Inquiry that studies this.) 

So, I bet some of  you are saying right about now that the “problems” that you have are your “duty”. You know what you need to do.  You can’t make a change because you are just “bearing what you must bear”.  You are just doing what you “ought to do”, or you don’t feel free to make your own decisions,or what you want to do will hurt other people, or make them sad, or you don’t want to be selfish, or WHATEVER story you are telling yourself —so you can justify why you are miserable (in your job, in your marriage, in your skin…fill in the blank).  

Well, that type of thinking is okay for a period of time, BUT NOT FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Eventually you are going to have to face facts that you can’t live your life through other people, or for other people, or based on what other people think you should do.  It is time for you to grow up.  Move on. Leave. Make the Change. Just Quit.  Be Who You Are Suppose To Be.

Keep Discovering Your Passions

What are your hobbies?  If you don’t have any then you need to find some.  Hobbies are just another word for passions.  If passion is too strong a word for you then start looking for hobbies.

Create something.  Make something.  Write Something. Paint Something.  Grow Something. Fix Something. Clean Something. Try Something….and don’t expect to be an expert…just keep at it, see if you like it, all you have to do is enjoy doing it…

If you don’t have anything you are doing in your spare time (and television DOES NOT count – because you are watching other people perform THEIR hobbies and passions) it’s time to start doing something – ANYTHING that makes you lose all track of time. This is your first step on the path to finding your passion(s)…and yes, it is passions and not passion, because they too will change and evolve over time.

Remember this is YOUR Life.

One day you will die, but today you are alive.

No matter your situation, just ACT like you are free.

Free to be happy.  Free to sing.  Free to dance.  Free to smile.  Free to give. Free to love.  Free to sit.  Free to walk.  Free to Be.  Free to Just Quit