Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Reasons People Worldwide Want to "Just Quit"

If you find this blog, please know that you are not alone in your misery on your job.

I will at least once a quarter  post the results from the survey.  Below are others worldwide that want to quit their jobs even if they don’t have another one lined-up.  It is a serious problem.  Please know that you are not crazy and are not alone.  Thanks to all of those who have purchased my book.  I hope that it has helped during this difficult time.

 

CommentDate
The stressThursday, Oct 19th 9:47AM
My career is going nowhere for meWednesday, Oct 18th 1:24PM
I hate where I’m at and feel like I’ve been at this job too long. I dread going to work everyday and have a hard time getting up in the morning.Wednesday, Oct 18th 10:35AM
Stress, work load, overtime, toxic environment, not appreciatedSaturday, Oct 14th 10:28PM
The stress the workload the hours the payFriday, Oct 13th 3:31PM
Career growthFriday, Oct 13th 11:44AM
FreedomThursday, Oct 12th 2:04PM
There is no growth in the organization,Boss is not supportive and environment tis extremely political.They have reduce my role and expecting me to leave.Thursday, Oct 12th 5:05AM
There is no trust between me and my boss.I was once in competition with my current boss and he was my peer.But due to his political nature he reached to that position and remove my old boss from his position hence reduce my chances of promotions.
I’m miserable and unhappy, the moment I walk in the door. I’ve had enough and know it’s time to do something else.Wednesday, Oct 11th 10:22PM
Fed up of my current job, not enjoying it anymore, want something new, new challenge.Tuesday, Oct 10th 7:39PM
I am extremely bored and unchallenged.Sunday, Oct 8th 1:32PM
I hate doing the job I have.Thursday, Oct 5th 5:09AM
I don’t feel needed or respected.
I feel disrespected.
I’m bitter at my boss for passing me up on a permanent position.
It makes me feel physically illWednesday, Oct 4th 1:50PM
On edge, tearfull and stressed
I cannot think straight and it has erroded my confidence
DrainedSunday, Oct 1st 8:10AM
Feel like not part of team, not being challenged, bored, not valuedThursday, Sep 28th 6:17PM
I hate itSaturday, Sep 23rd 7:17PM
The stress from my job is greatly impactinh my health, my mental well being and my relationship with my husband. I have panic attacks on my way to work accompanied by a general ill feeling in my stomach.Wednesday, Sep 20th 6:56PM
I’m happy with my life except for one minor detail … I HATE going to work Monday to Friday. I feel like my boss owns me and my life is not my own. My job is also holding me back because I’m not learning anything new or useful. I worry about my future. It’s draining my life force and making me sick. I literally need to quit so I can recover and reclaim myself. Looking for another job in this mental state is not what I want to do. I need time between jobs because I never get a decent vacation. I want to be FREE!!!Tuesday, Sep 19th 7:27PM
I want to renovate my house. I want to do a Barista course. I want to plan for my future. I want to spend more time with family. If I get another job, I want it to be one that I really love. I don’t want to get up at 4am to go to work anymore. I don’t want to work on the week-ends. I don’t want to work until 10pm at night anymore. I want to spend time in my garden. While I love customers, I don’t want o have to deal with grumpy badly behaved people anymore.Monday, Sep 18th 8:01PM
I’m just so tired and burned out from it. Don’t fit in with the culture and not nerdy enoughSunday, Sep 17th 7:55PM
my job has become tedious and I hate my loine of work. I’ve been I’ll from work stress and I’m extremely unhappy with management.Tuesday, Sep 12th 12:27PM
This job is depressingMonday, Sep 11th 1:10PM
its very repetitive
its ruining my mood
The pay is terrible. I cannot make any money here. Its sales, and the one week (out of the 50-60 weeks I have been here) I made it past the average pay. It was only 200 more than what i usually make
I cannot focus
My thoughts arent clear
Moving towns for a fresh startSaturday, Sep 9th 4:24AM
Need a more stable job, more pay, serve hard to serve people and I just can’t do it anymore. Safety is a concern.Tuesday, Sep 5th 11:27AM
I am miserable, unhappy, cry all the time and think about being at home so can concentrate on my job. I just hate it.Tuesday, Sep 5th 7:57AM
Because I cannot take this any more. I’m 22 years old and I’m suffering with anxiety, depression and a disease in my pancreas due to stress.Wednesday, Aug 30th 6:38AM
Because I can’t take another second there, and I’m moving away to a new state soonTuesday, Aug 29th 10:47AM
The job I have now takes up all my my mental time and almost all of my free time. I took it thinking it would make me happy and validate my worth. It hasn’t. I hate it and it’s only been 2.5 months. I want to move across the country and I can’t job search well from the opposite coast. So I have to buck up, relocate, and search as a local resident.Thursday, Aug 24th 12:09PM
It’s driving me crazyTuesday, Aug 22nd 11:16PM
My job makes me physically ill. I can’t sleep or relax on my days off.Tuesday, Aug 22nd 8:02PM
Take on an extreme amount of stress and pressure without appreciation or compensation and was not part of the job description when I was hiredSaturday, Aug 19th 1:31PM
I have a Mental illness that causes me to not be able to tolerate the intricate stipulations and policies of this companyFriday, Aug 18th 4:51PM
I want to live in Africa and work on community projectsThursday, Aug 17th 9:47PM
Stagnant growth. Mistreated. Terrible corporate culture. Not learning.Wednesday, Aug 16th 9:58AM
Tired of stressful responsibility. Tired of long hours worked and travel time. Tired of difficult employees.Sunday, Aug 13th 10:31PM
My stress levels feels through the roof, I don’t like the direction this company is going in, I feel an almost unbearable anxiety at the thought of dealing with our customers, I want to work in an industry where my schedule is more set and stable, I have beenSunday, Aug 13th 8:30PM
I am not interested in computer industry.Sunday, Aug 13th 7:20AM
The work is affecting my mental healthSaturday, Aug 12th 4:50PM
My CEO is abusive. I do t think he is going to let me do what I need to do. I am worried about recruiting good people into a dysfunctional company.Saturday, Aug 12th 6:14AM
Because I feel like I’m overqualified and I can do much better if given a chance.Thursday, Aug 10th 5:04AM
I didn’t learn a thing about the core operation of the job. I am like an unskilled working in my office.
The reason I want to quit my job before I find another one is that I need a safer job because this one is really stressful for me when we get busy and overwhelming.Tuesday, Aug 8th 8:22PM
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any financial loss, data loss, downgrade in search engine rankings, missed customers, undeliverable email or any other damages that you may suffer upon the expiration of ridea1.polldaddy.com. For more information please refer to section 17.c.1a of our User Agreement.Friday, Aug 4th 3:30PM
I want to do something I enjoyThursday, Aug 3rd 2:39PM
Can’t sleep or eat due to anxiety. Unsafe work environmentThursday, Aug 3rd 4:32AM
Stress not being able to perform the job. Writing on he wall I will be getting fired.Tuesday, Aug 1st 7:11PM
Because it’s time and I have been planning for 18 months and I am longer happy and very stressedTuesday, Aug 1st 12:29PM
No passion on current job.Tuesday, Aug 1st 11:16AM
I want to work by myself.
I want to travel more than I can for the past 5 years.
I dont like being told what to do and limit my potential.
I love to create new things.
I dont have any passion in this industry.
Im just working for the sake of paying the bills and expenses.
FreedomMonday, Jul 31st 11:40PM
I need a break from everythingMonday, Jul 31st 2:28PM
MiserableMonday, Jul 31st 5:34AM
Tired of being under paid, and put down by leaders. Don’t like environment etcSaturday, Jul 29th 6:53PM
StressThursday, Jul 27th 11:48PM
I need to figure out my life (next steps) but I’m unable to really focus on that because I am exhausted from job.Thursday, Jul 27th 2:13AM
I’m wasting my energy here when I could be doing something productive at home.Wednesday, Jul 26th 7:54AM
I am a useless body behind a computer screen.
I don’t feel myself really smile once while at work.
I am too tired and stressout with work. Too afraid to go work everydayWednesday, Jul 26th 5:28AM
Stress, always working late and on weekendsMonday, Jul 24th 8:28PM
Third shiftSaturday, Jul 22nd 10:58PM
I feel like I need to sacrifice a good thing for a better thingTuesday, Jul 18th 12:32PM
My manager pays me a terrible wageMonday, Jul 17th 4:16PM
I feel very upset in my current job. Very very upset.Monday, Jul 17th 7:17AM
GreatSunday, Jul 16th 11:16PM
Mentally, emotionally and physically I can no longer do my current job. I have wanted to start my own business for a long time and have done a lot of research and decided on the business I will start. I have the finances to start my own business and to pay my bills, without changing anything, for 5 months so I feel comfortable quitting my current job. If I scale back, I can stretch that even longer. And knowing that, I no longer feel stuck; I feel relieved and excited.Saturday, Jul 15th 8:21AM
Because I hate the way it makes me feel about myselfThursday, Jul 13th 1:23PM
I just want to leaveThursday, Jul 13th 5:20AM
I want to have a change in environment. I came back for dad. I am feeling the unfairness and unhappiness whenever I am tasked with certain task.Monday, Jul 10th 7:08AM
Stress, no work life balanceSunday, Jul 9th 9:43PM
i am thinking to quit my job without another one because i felt tired when iwas working there 2 weeks agoSaturday, Jul 8th 4:35AM
i feel everything has chamged i mean in a very bad way
i dont like seeing other people not work hard and just act like they are superior
i hate to meet someone and hear something that are very annoyed me
It’s a dead-end job, I’m not making enough money and I can’t achieve even my most basic objectives for the future; also, there’s the perspective of having to travel for work, which I don’t intend to do.Friday, Jul 7th 3:34AM
I’ve been here long enough to realize that I’m just not cut out for this. I’m better off elsewhere – someplace where I can actually feel passionate about my job, somewhere I can put my skills to good use. I am so tired for waking up every single day feeling like crap.Wednesday, Jul 5th 6:58PM
Stress is wrecking my health to the point where I have no good days anymoreWednesday, Jul 5th 2:16PM
Cant take this job no moreWednesday, Jul 5th 8:31AM
Too much pressure
want to be free
do not want to say hello boos any more
want to travel the world
Don’t get the same treatments as othersTuesday, Jul 4th 3:51PM
Picked on
Unhappy
boredMonday, Jul 3rd 10:02PM
just waiting for start-up
no incentive to do anything
no more friends
stagnant for 4 years
everyone else is higher ranked
My job is overwhelming me to the point of depression. I am underpaid, undervalued, and overworked. I have many responsibilities, at times covering the responsibilities of three employees. I feel dread when I wake up in the morning at the thought of going in.Monday, Jul 3rd 1:18PM
1. I’m not enjoying the workFriday, Jun 30th 11:55PM
2. I feel blocked when trying to innovate
3. Some co-workers are impossible to reason with
4. My boss chooses the advice of the coworker over mine
Want a job with a different industry, different duties, and room for growth. Looking for a better work environment, colleagues to befriend, and opportunities to further my career. Burnt out of this job.Thursday, Jun 29th 9:09AM
because i am depressed at it. there is no room for advancement, the people i work with are backstabbers and i am sick of it.Thursday, Jun 29th 8:47AM
I’m completely miserable at my job. I’m stressed out. My anxiety level has accelerated. I’m doing way more than I can handle. At times I have chest pain due to the stress. My sleep is also affected.Wednesday, Jun 28th 6:09AM
Cannot carry on here anymoreTuesday, Jun 27th 5:59AM
Because the job im in right now isnt for me. I fell in the job. I suck at IT.Monday, Jun 26th 7:59AM
1. My health is suffering. In terms of my physical health, I have been putting off visiting a doctor for nearly a year. There were also days in the past few months that I was contemplating suicide. I smoke too much at work (Don’t feel the need to, at home).Sunday, Jun 25th 1:58AM
2. I have no work-life balance. Even after trying multiple times to balance my work-life, I keep falling back to 12-hour workdays (This is an improved no.!). No extra curricular activities, no friends left, have met my boyfriend only 3 to 4 times this entire year (And he lives in the same city as me).
3. My elder sister is suffering from severe anxiety and depression, she talks about committing suicide everyday. My parents are aging and find it difficult to look after her, once she moved back in with us. I feel like I am unable to contribute at home, as I am so bogged down at work.
4. I never had a great boss and was seriously thinking of quitting my job for more than 6 months. My boss quit and so I decided to stay back to assess the situation after his notice. My new boss doesn’t seem to like me too much, he does not share information too easily as well. He has also recruited somebody whose position would be between us two – which means that I would report into two people instead of one. I feel that this is quite unfair since I have had a large contribution in running the department up till now. I feel that it would be futile to work hard now and not worth the effort to impress my new boss. Also, nearly all of my old team had already moved on.
5. I feel too burnt out to look for another job while at this job. Whenever I have got offers from other companies, I am turning them down as I feel I am too tired to go for an interview and definitely too tired to prove myself at a new job.
My job stress has created depression in my life to the point I am taking medication for it.Thursday, Jun 22nd 12:04AM
Too much stress and not working for me.Wednesday, Jun 21st 2:33PM
TO TAKE CARE OF ELDERLY MOMTuesday, Jun 20th 2:50PM
I no longer have the desire to work where I do. I have stagnated mentally. I am no longer using my brain and have been forgetting things I learned in school. I’m tired of the daily drudgery and sameness.Monday, Jun 19th 1:25PM
Stressful situation, very unhappy, affecting health and personal lifeSunday, Jun 18th 10:52PM
treated poorly, no room for improvement, cant speak to manager, get judged everyday, get talked about, there is no hope left hereSunday, Jun 18th 7:38PM
I’m in a position that is just not right for me, with a company that I have outgrown, and is beneath my skills and education, for a company of managers that I am unable to influence positively. I am getting physically ill from this, and it costs me money to get there every day.Friday, Jun 16th 1:16PM
I have classic signs of burnout and compassion fatigue despite being in the field for a brief period (less than 1 year). I also feel I have lost the passion that once motivated me to enter the field of counseling. My other passions keep calling to me, such as writing, traveling, and adventuring outdoors.Tuesday, Jun 13th 1:44PM
SO NOT HAPPY! I READ THE STEPS TO TAKE TO QUIT YOUR JOB POST AND IT FIT ME TO A T!Monday, Jun 12th 3:36PM
Quitting my job because my 75 minute-90 minute commute each way along with a high energy, stressful job has taken a toll on me and my personal life. Work/life balance is unhealthy.Monday, Jun 12th 10:14AM
To do wht I always dreamed of.Monday, Jun 12th 10:35AM
I want a changeSunday, Jun 11th 11:30PM
StressSunday, Jun 11th 8:13PM
Don’t feel valued or trapSaturday, Jun 10th 10:53PM
This job is a dead end for me. I am not gaining new skills. Expectations are unrealistic and continuously changing.Saturday, Jun 10th 10:20PM
It is not what want to do. It is stressful and I hate the working environment and thr senior managementWednesday, Jun 7th 5:46AM
lTuesday, Jun 6th 9:14AM
I feel stressed and uncomfortable at my job.Monday, Jun 5th 1:26PM
I’m not happy with my direction, lack passion for my company, find my job boringMonday, Jun 5th 5:19AM

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Pop-Up Shop Saturday's

Being in business with a building has been an interesting experience.

Opening the shop on weekends for the past 6 months has been eye-opening.

It’s been my arts studio, a place for me to think, a place for me to un-think, a place for locals to get a cup of coffee, a counseling center, a fabulous place for the birds to find food, a place to wash my car, a place to be creative, a place to meet new people, a place to study human behavior, a place to listen to music….it’s been all these things for the last 6 months.  It has not however been a place that is self-sufficient financially.  I think I could stay here another 10 years and  no matter what I was “selling” it would not make much money.  Why?  Because it’s hard for me to figure out how retail stores make ANY real money. There is not enough margin in purchased stuff, and who wants stuff anyways?  Then for created stuff, as an artist I’ve learned over the years that no one is going to pay you as much money as a piece took you to make.  So, you have to be willing to part with it for less than it’s worth to you. So the best I think stores are doing is breaking even. There is SO much overhead cost and red-tape and taxes and on and on and on and on with a business with a building. It has definitely given me a new-found respect for those retail operations that actually make it….although retail stores are closing left and right.

So onto the real thing…the real mission…the real reason I am back in my hometown… it is to help other people get their ideas, businesses, art, crafts,  books, music OFF THE GROUND.  To do that I have to expand.  I have to find a way to open the other side of this building.  The other side is where my dad ran his barbershop for years. I want to bring back that “community  barbershop” experience for people.  I personally remember how thrilling it was to come to the barbershop and see members of the community inside talking, laughing and getting a needed service. I want this building to be the place to be on Saturdays in Hampton,VA.  I want it to be one of those places that you hear about and it’s on your list to visit.

My VISION  for The Richardson’s:

  • We are the place in Hampton VA for creatives to gather, make money, start a business, and grow a business.
  • People who are currently walking by the shop will find their creative centers and set up a pop-up shop to make needed money.
  • Locals will be featured in national publications about getting their start at The Richardson’s.
  • The Richardson’s will create and cultivate an entrepreneurial spirit in Phoebus VA.

As I sit here typing this, while at the shop, a couple just stopped their car  in the middle of Mercury Blvd  (a 45 mile per hr street) so the woman could take a picture of my chairs painted with the word LOVE.  Just a reminder to myself of what happened today.

So now…after almost 6 months being here I am finally ready to do a business plan.  I feel I now have enough of a feel for the place, the community, and the city.  Stay tuned…

 

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Wanting to "Just Quit" J-O-B-S

I happened to catch a documentary on PBS last week called Set For Life by Tree of Life Productions.

It was about folks in middle age devastated by this last economic recession.

As I watched I thought there could be a documentary/a play/something artsy of sorts about folks worldwide who are miserable in made-up j-o-b-s they want to “Just Quit”.

Something tells me this journalist might be able to help me or know someone who will find useful the 9,500 stories from 126 countries I have been curating for the past four years.

I keep this blog going because I remember the pain of being in a job I wanted to “Just Quit” and feeling that no one understood. Folks need to know they are not alone and they aren’t crazy, so today is the day I take the time to pull together the survey results and send an email to the journalist to get some feedback. Taking another step…

 

 

 

Monday, June 26, 2017

New Business? Trust Yourself.

Shout out to the entrepreneurs.  Bigger what’s up to those doing it while working full-time. What a fabulous learning experience this is.

Learning about wearing all the hats from sweeping the floor to paying the bills. Learning about realizing at the end of the day; it’s all me. All I think about is that my father built a successful business and had a full-time job, 6 kids, a 1 acre farm to tend to, and a wife who was sick all the time.  I think about that and it baffles my mind.  It’s deep.  It motivates me.

Learning that your vision only does become clear when you look inside.  There is way too much going on around you to get a clear image of the long view.

Learning that you have to put your ear to the ground and listen to what’s happening around you but you can’t be sidetracked by any of it.  The lessons I’m learning from attending the community meetings is like opening a door, looking inside and realizing that what I see is not what it is.  I can’t take any of it at face value. The only way I’m going to figure out what is “really going on”  is to give it time.

Learning that the risk is real. It’s more a risk in doing something just for the sake of doing something.  That’s a lot of wasted energy . If you’re in it for the long run you have to pace yourself and not jump or panic, it’s about preparing.

Learning that when you are on the path meant for you, synchronicity will come daily & you’ll know when it’s happening. It happened for me one day when I re-worked an art piece the moment I walked in the shop and someone came in a brought it that day.  They had to have it.  It happened again this weekend when two neighborhood people (James and Nicole) came in the shop at the same time.  They  are two people who are like the “real people” my mother use to invite into our home at 1215.  I like them.  I like that they come in the shop.  Can they buy anything?  Nope.  They can’t afford it.   I’m just happy I have a place they feel comfortable coming in.  Love that.

Learning that what I thought the shop was about, ain’t it.  It’s something else.  Much bigger. So big all I can do is go in meditation about it and ask for further direction and guidance…”like really…this is what you want me to do?”…and slowly but surely it’s unfolding. Back to feeling like I’m guided by an invisible hand and I just have to go with it.  I won’t be able to get away from who I am, what I know, all my experiences, where I’m from, because it’s all linking up.

Being a learner is one of my strengths…I’m truly enjoying this ride.

So to those who want to start a business or those in the midst of a start-up…go slow, pace yourself, listen to your intuition and have no regrets.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Running A Brick and Mortar Business

Learning

  • How can this be anything but a learning opportunity, if you’ve never done it before?  What I’ve learned:
  • Turning the OPEN” sign on means absolutely nothing.  If it’s not Wal-Mart or a good restaurant, there aren’t going to be people waiting to come in.
  • As the owner you have to focus early on…figure out the mission…stay focused on the vision.  If products and services don’t line up with the mission and vision don’t do it just to be doing something.  My vision is to create a space like a “barbershop” for creatives.  A place for the community to come, be productive and creative.
  • You have to block out the noise all around you.  Meditation has served me well.  
  • The location of your business is important but not as important as the products and services you offer.  I’m on a main road in town, but I’d need some outdoor event or product displayed to get people going 45 miles per hour to stop and notice.
  • When I stay focused on where I was when I was “wishing” I was home, “wishing” I had a space for my art, “wishing” I was a business owner is the best place for me to draw from. When you are in the REALITY of owning a business and just focusing on all the hard work you can lose the excitement if you focus just on the REALITY of the day. You have to stay grounded in the fact that your “wish”, your “dream” it CAME TRUE. Don’t let up on THAT reality, because many people won’t have the opportunity to know what this feels like.

People

  • People who are benefactors have always shown up in my life when I needed them.  Now is no different.  It’s people who have been business owners, are business owners that are giving me tips and ideas.  Giving me contacts and planting seeds.  Gotta love those people and now that I have the business ownership experience (especially retail)  I get it.  If you’ve never done this…you don’t know…but you don’t know you don’t know.
  • Struggling people. Many people are deeply in the struggle. “Life’s a struggle”.  They can’t see or hear non-struggle talk.  I get it.  I’ve been there in the struggle mindset, but I don’t feel like life’s a struggle anymore…and it isn’t. I read a bumper sticker the other day….Don’t delay your joy….I loved that.
  • People waiting.  Waiting to see how things turn out.  Hopeful for me, but not willing to help or support, just watching and waiting.
  • People supporting.  Doing more than asking but following up.  Showing up.  I think about these people and wonder if they know that I ALREADY know what this venture will be.  I don’t know HOW it will get there, or even WHEN, but I can see it morphing like compound interest….slowly then WOW.   I’m actually enjoying this down time, feeling like “I’ve got space to breathe”, solitude in the space, making it my space, getting out the kinks.  It’s not going to last, this place is going to be busy, full of people.  It will be like the “barbershop” or all the people just showing up to my house at 1215 when I was growing up…it was “The Richardson’s”.  Bringing that back.

Planning

  • This is the first business idea that I did not do A BUNCH of PAPER PLANNING for. Good thing because it would have been a waste of time.
  • Now that I’ve been in it for a couple of months I have a better idea of what I want to do/need to do.  First thing I need is HELP.  I’m going to try to get summer help (possible with a program for Newport News youths) to help with:

Marketing

  • Canvassing the community with information about the shop and what we offer
  • Website Development – Research WordPress templates, populate website and mobile
  • Social Media Management – Facebook Page Development; Twitter Account Management
  • Blog – Update blog with postings…have many blogs for many years now.
  • Survey Research – Research and email possible buyers for all the workplace research I’ve been gathering from this blog for four years now.  There are some buyer’s out there…just have to find them.

Retail

  • Gift shop retail operation
  • Cash register programming and operation
  • Pricing items
  • Maintaining inventory

Craft Design

  • Base and back painting for artwork

Workshops

  • Helping set-up for workshops
  • Creating flyers
  • Posting events on Facebook
  • Posting events on Eventbrite

Reading Room

  • Organizing Books
  • Maintaining reading room

So, if I can get this help during the summer I will feel like the car (business) that I have on the road is better manufactured for the long haul and then I can hire one person to keep it running properly.  I can see that.

Life Style

 

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Church Easter Sunday

Not much has changed in Baptist churches since the last time I went in 2011.

People still want to shout and sing and feel grounded in the midst of the daily struggle.

It was interesting looking at everyone dressed-up in new clothes. Looking good. Feeling good. It was interesting. That made me happy to see that.

As I watched the person singing the song and people clapping at the end I wondered why this was considered worship.  I could see how the lady singing was worshipping, but not the people sitting in the pew listening and then clapping.  It was more like a concert to me.

When it was time for the collection of money, it was new to ask people who wanted to give electronically to go to the back of the room.  I guess they had credit and debit card terminals back there.

I don’t know.

I just sat there wondering, how did “the church” evolve into a theater performance, a concert, a retail operation, prayers that sounded like sermons…and…I guess there was a sermon, but I couldn’t stay any longer.  I just couldn’t. It felt awkward and unnatural because what I needed spiritually was already inside of me.  I left them in their beautiful new clothes, sitting side by side in straight back chairs, watching a t.v. screen showing the action on the stage and said silently…May they all be happy.

 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Just Quit = Letting Go

To JUST QUIT is Not the Same as Giving Up.  

It is Letting Go of What is Not Working.

Letting Go is the Opposite of Holding On

Below is a practical example of the difference between holding on and letting go:

  • Look around and find something that is near to you and pick it up.
  • Hold on to it REALLY TIGHT.  How does that feel? How do you feel holding on really tightly to whatever you picked up? Are you in any discomfort? Is there stress on your hand, or on your arm? Do you feel the tension?
  • I know it hurts…so now…Let Go of It.

How did you Let Go of It?

You just DECIDED to Let Go.

Then what happened? You relaxed.

That is what Letting Go is all about

deciding to free yourself of what you are holding onto.

THE PROCESS and PRACTICE OF LETTING GO

There are so many things you can let go of that may be holding you back, causing you pain, making you unhappy, locking you down and limiting you. This list could include many things, such as;

  • Thoughts
  • Feelings
  • Habits
  • Desires
  • Beliefs
  • Staying Busy
  • Stuff or Clutter
  • Financial Decisions
  • Holding Grudges
  • Other People
  • Jobs or Professions
  • Failed Marriages
  • Shopping, or
  • A Faith That No Longer Serves You.

If you are new to Letting Go, then you may not know how to Let Go or Just Quit. You may not know how to pick one thing that you are doing, saying , believing that is now limiting you, making you uncomfortable, or causing you or others pain?

Below are some steps you can use to help you Learn to Let Go:

First DECIDE that you are going to start the process of Letting Go.  Just make a decision.

Start with something small like Letting Go of a Thought.

  • Just pick a reoccurring thought that is not healthy or serving you.
  • Maybe it’s a negative thought about yourself —  that runs like a record in your head.
  • Your Just Quit Thing would be “I will Just Quit thinking (fill in the blank).
  • “When I think that thought I will be aware of it and decide to let it go.”

From Thoughts you can Move on to Feelings.

Observe the feeling –

  • Name it
  • Own it
  • Accept it, then understand that it is just a feeling and you can choose if you want to feel that way in this situation in your life.
  • Regardless of the feeling you do not have to act on your feelings.
  • You can feel it, acknowledge it and Let It Go.
  • Just release it to the universe and decide that you will Let It Go. ” I will Just Quit acting on every feeling.”

You can then Move on to Letting Go of Desires.

  • Think about the suffering and pain that “desires” have caused you.
  • You know the drill: “Once I have a new house,  a new job, a new mate, get my degree, lose 20 pounds,  get out of this marriage, have surgery, make more money, get promoted, get out of debt,  retire from working, (feel in the blank);  then I’ll be happy.”
  • You can live your entire life waiting to be happy.
  • Just decide to be happy now with what you have and where you are.
  • Have your goals and go for them, but be happy now.

Maybe you’re a pro at Letting Go.  You’ve been working on controlling your mind, thoughts, emotions and feelings and now you are ready to Let Go of Negative Habits (behavioural patterns of actions) such as:   “I will Just Quit Overeating, Overspending, Excessive Shopping, Not Exercising, Drinking, Smoking, Taking Drugs (legal and illegal, they are all drugs), Gambling, Watching Sexually Explicit Material, Procrastinating, ect”.  It more difficult to let go of habits, but it is possible and life changing.

The next thing to work on Letting Go of is Beliefs.

  • Beliefs are things which have become part of your identity.
  • These beliefs help you define who you think you are.
  • They could be religious beliefs, beliefs about the world, beliefs about the environment, beliefs about others, beliefs about yourself, your friends, or your loved ones.
  • A part of your life’s journey is about deciding what beliefs you should plug into.
  • There are some beliefs that may have served you well at one point in your life, but not now.
  • Beliefs change but sometimes are hard to let go of.    “I will Just Quit believing (fill in the blank).”

The final category is Letting Go of Yourself, as you know yourself.

  • The self that thinks that it is separate and not connected to everyone and everything.
  • Remember to begin with the end in mind… The End Results Model…one day “you” will not exist, not here, not as you know yourself.  You will die. You will then have to Let Go of Self.
  • Don’t wait until you are dead to understand that life it about letting go…and you missed the point!

    “There’s an important difference

    between giving up and letting go.”

    ~Jessica Hatchigan~