Just Quit = Letting Go

To JUST QUIT is Not the Same as Giving Up.  

It is Letting Go of What is Not Working.

Letting Go is the Opposite of Holding On

Below is a practical example of the difference between holding on and letting go:

• Look around and find something that is near to you and pick it up.
• Hold on to it REALLY TIGHT.  How does that feel? How do you feel holding on really tightly to whatever you picked up? Are you in any discomfort? Is there stress on your hand, or on your arm? Do you feel the tension?
• I know it hurts…so now…Let Go of It.

How did you Let Go of It?

You just DECIDED to Let Go.

Then what happened? You relaxed.

That is what Letting Go is all about

deciding to free yourself of what you are holding onto.

THE PROCESS and PRACTICE OF LETTING GO

There are so many things you can let go of that may be holding you back, causing you pain, making you unhappy, locking you down and limiting you. This list could include many things, such as;

• Thoughts
• Feelings
• Habits
• Desires
• Beliefs
• Staying Busy
• Stuff or Clutter
• Financial Decisions
• Holding Grudges
• Other People
• Jobs or Professions
• Failed Marriages
• Shopping, or
• A Faith That No Longer Serves You.

If you are new to Letting Go, then you may not know how to Let Go or Just Quit. You may not know how to pick one thing that you are doing, saying , believing that is now limiting you, making you uncomfortable, or causing you or others pain?

Below are some steps you can use to help you Learn to Let Go:

First DECIDE that you are going to start the process of Letting Go.  Just make a decision.

Start with something small like Letting Go of a Thought.

• Just pick a reoccurring thought that is not healthy or serving you.
• Maybe it’s a negative thought about yourself —  that runs like a record in your head.
• Your Just Quit Thing would be “I will Just Quit thinking (fill in the blank).
• “When I think that thought I will be aware of it and decide to let it go.”

From Thoughts you can Move on to Feelings.

Observe the feeling –

• Name it
• Own it
• Accept it, then understand that it is just a feeling and you can choose if you want to feel that way in this situation in your life.
• Regardless of the feeling you do not have to act on your feelings.
• You can feel it, acknowledge it and Let It Go.
• Just release it to the universe and decide that you will Let It Go. ” I will Just Quit acting on every feeling.”

You can then Move on to Letting Go of Desires.

• Think about the suffering and pain that “desires” have caused you.
• You know the drill: “Once I have a new house,  a new job, a new mate, get my degree, lose 20 pounds,  get out of this marriage, have surgery, make more money, get promoted, get out of debt,  retire from working, (feel in the blank);  then I’ll be happy.”
• You can live your entire life waiting to be happy.
• Just decide to be happy now with what you have and where you are.
• Have your goals and go for them, but be happy now.

Maybe you’re a pro at Letting Go.  You’ve been working on controlling your mind, thoughts, emotions and feelings and now you are ready to Let Go of Negative Habits (behavioural patterns of actions) such as:   “I will Just Quit Overeating, Overspending, Excessive Shopping, Not Exercising, Drinking, Smoking, Taking Drugs (legal and illegal, they are all drugs), Gambling, Watching Sexually Explicit Material, Procrastinating, ect”.  It more difficult to let go of habits, but it is possible and life changing.

The next thing to work on Letting Go of is Beliefs.

• Beliefs are things which have become part of your identity.
• These beliefs help you define who you think you are.
• They could be religious beliefs, beliefs about the world, beliefs about the environment, beliefs about others, beliefs about yourself, your friends, or your loved ones.
• A part of your life’s journey is about deciding what beliefs you should plug into.
• There are some beliefs that may have served you well at one point in your life, but not now.
• Beliefs change but sometimes are hard to let go of.    “I will Just Quit believing (fill in the blank).”

The final category is Letting Go of Yourself, as you know yourself.

• The self that thinks that it is separate and not connected to everyone and everything.
• Remember to begin with the end in mind… The End Results Model…one day “you” will not exist, not here, not as you know yourself.  You will die. You will then have to Let Go of Self.
• Don’t wait until you are dead to understand that life it about letting go…and you missed the point!
  

  “There’s an important difference

  between giving up and letting go.”

  ~Jessica Hatchigan~

 

The Richardson's Is Open For Business

No one could have told me what is was like to open a real business.  What it would take to open the door.  What it was like to have a soft opening. No one could have told me.

I have started many “businesses” but never one with a building.  This is different.  It’s real.

Maybe someone reading this might have started a business before but not with a building to open. When you do open a business that doesn’t have a building attached one of the first things you do is design and order business cards.  Let me say my business cards came in the day before we opened. It was one of the last things I had time to do.

Business Plans are great on paper but things don’t always go according to that plan. Things feel organic. You can plan all you want but when the rubber hits the road things don’t go according to plan.

We had a great opening weekend. Family and friends came out and supported us. Everyone loved the sign the we were told we could not put up. Don’t ever believe it when people tell you that you can’t do something…even if it is starting a business with a building.

Don't Believe The Hype...

 

See the above sign…I was told that I couldn’t get the letters off of it and even if I did get the letters off that it would then be hard to get the adhesive off and that the letters were probably so baked on it wasn’t worth the effort.

If you have a wooden sign with stick-on letters…don’t believe the hype.  Now it took me some research to figure it out, but figure it out I did.  It also took HOURS to get the letters, the adhesive and the imprint off, but it’s gone and ready for a new sign… THE RICHARDSON’S.

When opening a business as it is in life… if there is a will then there is a way.  

Don’t believe it when people tell you a bunch of hype. 

Keep moving forward.

 

Getting The Keys...Starting a Business

Starting a business is HARD.  It is A LOT of work. It is A LOT of red tape and wondering if things are going to work out and come together in time.

I said I would blog about this: 1. So I could document the process; 2. So it can help others who want to start a business and 3.  To serve as a reminder of how far I’ve come.  So, here is what it took to get these keys:

Step#1: Formed the business as a LLC for liability purposes.  This was as easy as going on the State Corporation Commissions website and completing the information electronically.  Paying the $100 and getting the Certificate of Organization and Articles of Organization.  It is the Articles of Organization that everyone will need to see.

Step#2: Getting the Employer Identification Number or EIN was harder.  At first it seemed like it was going to be as easy as getting the LLC established.  Not so.  First, you can do it on-line BUT with my first attempt I went through most of the screens only to get a message back that you could only do it during the hours the IRS has agents working 7 a.m. – 10 p.m.  It didn’t give me that message until I was half way thru the online forms.  So, do it during those hours.

I waited until the next day and tried it again.  I get thru all of the screens and then got a  NOPE we can’t help you online and they gave me a 101 CODE and a phone number to call (keep that number because it is hard to find it again).  This is where it got red-tape-y.  I called that number, was on hold about 20 minutes, got an agent, gave her the code and she told me that I couldn’t apply on-line because the name of my business was too common.  I needed to either mail (4-5 week turnaround) or fax (4-5 day turnaround) a paper form SS-4 along with the Articles of Organization for the LLC.  Of course I chose the fax option.  Now, with the fax option they want to FAX the EIN number back to you.  I don’t have a fax machine…who does anymore???…so you have to call them back in 4-5 days to get the EIN number over the phone. Red Tape.

Step #3 Getting a bank account.  They want the Articles of Organization and a LTR 147 C from the IRS with the EIN number on it.  Of course I didn’t have the 147 C because I didn’t have a fax number, so I called the IRS back, waited 30 minutes asked the agent to fax the form to the bank’s fax number.  I opened the bank account. I ordered Business Checks.  I got information about Merchants Services to compare it to using Square.  Yet to be determined.

Step #4 Reviewing the Lease. Depending on the complexity of the lease I would recommend you get a lawyer to review it for you.  I happen to have worked in purchasing for 15 years on and off again, so I have read many legal documents, terms and conditions and felt comfortable with it. If you don’t have this experience, get a lawyer.

Step #5 Getting Business Insurance.  I had already been told that with 3 or more employees you need Worker’s Comp. and since it’s only me for now, I was good on that end.  You do however need Comprehensive, Building and Contents insurance.  Apparently $1M comp and $100K building is standard and then for retail something called Plate Glass Insurance is needed.  There were loads of other add-on’s like Terrorism Protection which was only $2 additional per year (I got that since I’m now living in a military town…NASA Langley, AirForce, Army…all of that is here)  I didn’t get a lot of the other add-ons.

Step #6 Insurance Certificate.  Your landlord might ask for that. You get it from the Insurance Company.

Step #7 Business License. If you’re in a building you have to go to zoning first.  Once zoning gives the okay then you can get the business license. The tax rate will depend on what type of business that you are starting.  The business license itself is about $50.00.

I worked on all of the above during the month of January, in order to get the keys…

 

 

Native American Code of Ethics

Since Thanksgiving I’ve been researching and drawn to all things Native American. I think maybe because my grandmother was Cherokee, I’m back on Virginia soil, and maybe because I think about what happened to them and the loss of their land and culture.

I found the below Native American Code of Ethics and many of these resonate with me as a way to live.

1. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often.
   The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.
   ~ I wake up now at 4:30 a.m. to get to work early and have since learned the value of rising early. Add prayer to the reading of the Tao. The Great Spirit will listen.
   2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path.
   Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem
   from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.
   ~More prayer.  The bullies, the mean, the angry, the lost. Don’t judge them, pray for them. 
   3.Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others
   to make your path for you. It is your road, and
   yours alone. Others may walk it with you,
   but no one can walk it for you.
   ~This has never been a problem for me.  I learned this lesson as the youngest of a family of superstar athletes. Track, basketball…tried them all…but ended up going my own way in HS with politics, tennis and acting. Have been following my own path ever since. Being willing to fail helps you win the battle of finding your own path. 
   4. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration.
   Serve them the best food, give them the best
   bed and treat them with respect and honor.
   ~I’ve never been a very good hostess.  I just tell people to make themselves at home. I’ll have to work on this one, especially as a shop owner. 
   5. Do not take what is not yours whether from
   a person, a community,the wilderness or from a
   culture. It was not earned nor given. It is not yours.
   ~Wow, coming from Native Americans and the lost of their entire culture and land. This is deep. I like this especially as I think of a program to help reduce crime in the Hampton Roads community. 
   6. Respect all things that are placed upon
   this earth – whether it be people or plant.
   ~I agree. I remember a time in Charlotte when the birds were my best friends. I wouldn’t dream of a day going by without having bird food in their bird feeder. 
   7. Honor other people’s thoughts, wishes and words.
   Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them.
   Allow each person the right to personal expression.
   ~When I read this I thought about how much I need to work on this one. I will work on this one daily. 
   8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative
   energy that you put out into the universe
   will multiply when it returns to you.
   ~Another good one. 
   9. All persons make mistakes.
   And all mistakes can be forgiven.
   ~Don’t hold grudges.  I was a master at this…holding grudges. I’ve worked on it over the years, so this is easier for me to do. I found holding grudges just held you in the past.  The older I’ve gotten the less time I feel I have and zero for living in the past. 
   10.Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind,
   body and spirit. Practice optimism.
   I agree.  Every time I hear the term “mental health” I think isn’t that just the mental chatter or internal dialogue?  What else is it other than your thoughts? Then I think about people who don’t meditate and wonder when do they ever get a break from all of that noise in their heads? You have to balance it with mantras and positive thoughts or it becomes mental illness.   
   11. Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us.
   They are part of your worldly family.
   ~True. 
   12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant
   love in their hearts and water them with
   wisdom and life’s lessons. When they
   are grown, give them space to grow.

 ~My granddaughter. She is the future. Plant love in her heart. Water it with wisdom and life lessons. Think and dream how I want her to be when she’s 25 and act accordingly.

13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others.
The poison of your pain will return to you.
~Remember this everyday. Do not hurt others with my words, behavior or even thoughts. Counterbalance any hurtful thoughts with: “May you be happy.”
14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the
test of one’s will within this universe.
~Honesty.
15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual
self, Emotional self, and Physical self – all need
to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out
the body to strengthen the mind. Grow
rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.
~Balanced is planned.  It’s not haphazard. 
16. Make conscious decisions as to who
you will be and how you will react. Be
responsible for your own actions.
~Like the part about “how you will react”. Part of that is controlling emotions. 
17. Respect the privacy and personal space of
others. Do not touch the personal property of
others – especially sacred and religious
objects. This is forbidden.
~I can see how Native Americans see this as important. This is their land. American really belongs to them. They are the parents of this land. 
18. Be true to yourself first. You cannot
nurture and help others if you cannot
nurture and help yourself first.
~ For me this is about being healthy. After having a bad cold over the holidays this rings true…health is the first wealth. 
19. Respect others religious beliefs.
Do not force your belief on others.
~ I never could “knock on doors” I just couldn’t “make” others believe my “truth” just because I thought I’d found it.  People are entitled to their own beliefs. 
20. Share your good fortune with others.
Participate in charity.

All I keep thinking about when I think about the gift shop is being able to give back to the local community. I am looking forward to giving 10% to a local charity or a school. 

 

Source:Walking Times

New Year, New Venture

How many people want to start their own business?  Many do.

How many actually open their own business?  Some do.

How many succeed in small business. Few do.

After many years of creating business plans, buying business cards, “talking” about starting a business I’m finally going to open a brick and mortar business. It’s not just any building, it’s the same building that my father ran a local barber shop for 40 years. It’s like a dream come true. Walking in the building after all these years was magical for me.

As I sit here over the holiday’s I can still hear my father telling me: “If you know what you want, it’s already there.”   I know that building is it; I know that local artisan concept is it; I know that giving back to the local community is it. It’s almost like there is a pent-up need and the timing is right.  Time will tell.  No matter.  It will be a place that I want to go, a place I want to create and shop and be.  I’ll more than likely be documenting my journey on this blog as I transition to a business owner.

The Richardson’s 512 E. Mercury Blvd. Hampton, VA

Creative Space and Gift Shop

How the space looks today 12/16

Never Say Never

Never say never because you don’t know what the future holds.

Case in point: I’m back in purchasing, but with a twist.  I’m combining purchasing and training by working in procurement compliance.  It pretty fascinating because I can blend one thing I have years of experience in with the thing I do naturally. Although I thought I’d never want to go back into purchasing I feel like I’m at home with the purchasing discipline.  It’s been like riding a bicycle and a skill that I’ve missed using over the years.

So, never say never.  Don’t shut the door on your opportunities because you think you know what is best.  

What was best years ago, may not be best for today.

What was wrong for you years ago, may be just right for you today.

Just be open to all the universe has to offer.

Let go of what you will “never ever do” again.

Just be open and surprising things will come your way.

BE OPEN.