Just Let Go of Anger

“The angry people are those who are most afraid.”

~ Dr. Robert Anthony

 

LETTING GO OF ANGER IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE

Over this Memorial Day Holiday I decided to start working on my checklist of home repair/maintenance items.  One item on my list was to get my house power-washed  and the gutters cleaned.  I had a few flyers put in my mailbox over the spring and decided to call one of the numbers on the flyer.

CALLING THE WRONG NUMBER

I knew right away that I should have called the next number, because the guy wanted the job too badly. But…I thought how bad could it be.  Let’s just say that it’s three days later and I still don’t have my house power-washed, BUT I have this guys ladder in my back yard along with his water hose (which means he has to come back).  He wants an additional $40 for fixing the fence and putting up fascia that came off (things I never asked him to do) and he ran into the utility pole in my yard and bent it (he didn’t tell me, just didn’t think it was important for me know this). Needless to say I was angry.  I was angrier than I’ve been in a long time.

GETTING ANGRY – WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

I had to think back over my life when and why I’ve been that angry.  Usually it was when people tried to get over on me, when people wasted my time, or when I felt people were just plain mean and scary — frightening.  So after I identified the feelings that were happening to me I just allowed them to happen.  I just fully experienced the anger.  I fully experienced the fear of dealing with someone who felt “dark” to me.  Someone unable to control his need to harm others, abuse others, scare others, and just be unfair in his dealing with others.  I thought of all the things I wanted to do to get back at him for making me angry and afraid, THEN I just stopped and wondered what exactly was I afraid of.  The unknown of what he could do to me or my house? My mind was racing on what COULD happen…still could I guess because it’s not resolved.

GRATEFULNESS FOR THE EXPERIENCE

I went back to being grateful.  Grateful that I am not around a person like that on a daily basis.  Grateful that I am not him.  Grateful I don’t have to live this life like he does. Grateful that I am safe today.  Grateful that he didn’t power-wash my house and  mess it up. Grateful that I’m only out of $100 and not $125 “deposit”.  Grateful that my childhood experiences and professional training has allowed me to recognize people like him and know how to deal with him.  Grateful that I had that experience and felt that sort of anger and fear again.  (At some point when you have been living in peace and serenity for as long as I have you forget what these “negative” intense feelings feel like).   Grateful that I could allow it and just let it go, let it ebb away from me.  Grateful that I can trust life and what it has in store for me (even though I know there is still the possibility I’ll get angry again and there may be something real to fear in final dealings with him). Grateful  none-the-less that I’m able to see the value even in this thing.

You can let go of anger…just allow it…feel it…recognize it…

You can let go of fear…just allow it…feel it…recognize it….

Post Note: June 1, 2012 – Still haven’t heard from the “dark natured’ guy, still have his ladder and hose.  Maybe I’ll never hear from him again.

Post-Post Note: June 6, 2012 – Still haven’t heard from the “dark natured’ guy.  Decided to research on line how to power-wash a house with a hose and DISCOVERED a product call Mold Armor at Home Depot for $8.97.  I brought it and it worked like a charm.  My house looks like new — for a grand total of  $8.97.  Let’s just say if he doesn’t show up or call EVER again…then the experience was valuable.  For $100 I got a lesson in anger, my fenced fixed, my fascia put back on the house, a ladder that reaches the second floor, a very long garden hose AND the realization that MOST EVERYTHING I have on my list to fix around the house I can find instructions on YOU TUBE…I even figured out and FIXED the garbage disposal…I’m smiling now!

 

Let Go of Looking for Love

When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep.

When his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. 

~Kahlil Gibran on Love

We search. We hope. We pray.  We believe.

We look to find someone “else” who will “really” love us.

Someone who will make us happy.

  Someone who will like to do the things that we like to do.

Someone who will support us.

Someone who will listen to us.

  Someone who will go through life with us.

We look.

We go here.  We go there.

We are looking for that special someone to love us.

Eventually we think that we are going to find that  person and it’s going to be the right fit.

It’s going to FEEL right.

It’s going to BE right.

It’s going to BE for life.

It’s going to BE the real thing.

We are finally going to find and BE in love.

YOU FINALLY FIND LOVE

So, let’s say that you do find love.  It works out.  You live together happily for 20 years.  Then that person dies.

Where are you?  Where are you now?

You are left with wonderful memories of your time with them.

You’re probably hurt that they are gone.  You miss them.  You’re glad that you had a chance to get to know them.  To love them.  To be loved by them. To share your life with them.  But they’re now gone.

 So, where are you?  You are alone, again.  You are with yourself, again. You are back where you started right before you first came into this world. You are where you will be when you leave this world.

You Must Love Yourself First

LOVE BEGINS WITH YOU

There is just no real way to ignore the fact that the first lesson in learning to love is to love yourself.

Get to know yourself.

  Be in love with you, with who you are, what you’re about.

  Someone will then always love you.

You will love you.

 There is no need to suffer or settle when it comes to love or looking for love.

  Once you discover the greatest love of all, and realize that it’s not just YOU that you are, but it’s greater than you, then everything starts to make sense — EVERYTHING.

Loving Yourself IS Loving God.

Loving Yourself IS Loving Your Neighbor.

 There’s no separation.  There is no isolation.  In the end there is only Love.

What if there were a love that was so grand and great that you could not escape from it?  There is – loving yourself and not listening to those voices in your head that tell you that you are un-loveable.

If you do find someone who shares this special understanding then let the awesome  journey begin, but it won’t be a struggle.  It will be natural and you will know they are the one.  There is an inner wisdom that will let you know.  The relationship will be founded and grounded  in Love, in the awesome process of Loving and being Beloved and Supported.

Let Go of The Need to Look Outside of Yourself for Love, Happiness and Fulfillment.  You will then open a space where those who can’t really love you (because they don’t love themselves) will fall away.  Somehow the universe will remove them without much effort on your part.  Don’t be afraid of being without them. Don’t worry,  your beloved is already here, your beloved loves themselves and therefore can love you with an intense, dynamic and unselfish love. 

You Must First Look Within 

That Is Where You Must Start In Order to Understand Love.

~Ridea Richardson 

Letting Go Quotes

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning.”
~Lao Tzu~

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
~Lao Tzu~

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so
often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed
door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
~Alexander Graham Bell~

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
~Chinese Proverb~

“Nirvana means to extinguish the burning fires of the Three Poisons: greed, anger, and ignorance. This can be accomplished by letting go of dissatisfaction.”
~Shinjo Ito~

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.”
~Raymond Lindquist~

“Don’t let your mind bully your body into
believing it must carry the burden of its worries.”
~Astrid Alauda~

“Inner peace can be reached only when we practice
forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past,
and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.”
~Gerald Jampolsky~

“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of
something, loves something and has lost something.”
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.~

“To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring – it was peace.”
~Milan Kundera~

“There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.”
~Jessica Hatchigan~

“You cannot let go of anything if you cannot notice
that you are holding it. Admit your ‘weaknesses’ and
watch them morph into your greatest strengths.”
~Neale Donald Walsch~

“Stress is an ignorant state.
It believes that everything is an emergency.”
~Natalie Goldberg~

“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise
live rent-free in your head.”
~Ann Landers~

“To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.”
~Bodhidharma~

“I don’t let go of concepts – I meet them with understanding.
Then they let go of me.”
~Byron Katie~

“It is so conceited and timid to be ashamed of one’s mistakes.
Of course they are mistakes. Go on to the next.”
~Brenda Ueland~

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment
is the only one you know you have for sure.”
~Oprah Winfrey~

“Think about any attachments that are depleting
your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.”
~Oprah Winfrey~

“One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is
that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.”
~Michael Cibenko~

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh~

“The farther behind I leave the past,
the closer I am to forging my own character.”
~Isabelle Eberhardt~

“Half of the confusion in the world comes from not knowing how
little we need. I live more simply now, and with more peace.”
~Richard Byrd~

“The sun, though it passes through dirty places,
yet remains as pure as before.”
~Francis Bacon~

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
~Havelock Ellis~

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up
on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
~Anna Quindlen~

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”
~James Dean~

“When you’re passionate about something, you want it to be all
it can be. But in the endgame of life, I fundamentally believe
the key to happiness is letting go of that idea of perfection.”
~Debra Messing~

“Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go.”
~Kate Winslet~

“Every breath is an opportunity to receive and let go.
I receive love and I let go of pain.”
~Brenda MacIntyre~

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”
~Joseph Campbell~

“You can only lose what you cling to.”
~Buddha~

“Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering.
When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go,
then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you
to drag those burdens around with you. You’ll see that no
one else other than you was responsible. The truth is that
existence wants your life to become a festival.”
~Osho~

“Ask yourself this question:
“Will this matter a year from now?”
~Richard Carlson Ph.D~

“Art is nothing but the expression of our dream; the more we surrender to it the closer we get to the inner truth of things, our dream-life, the true life that scorns questions and does not see them.”
~Franz Marc~

“Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties.”
~Gail Sheehy~

“Celebrate whatever arises in consciousness
without clinging to anything.”
~Hale Dwoskin~

“To change skins, evolve into new cycles, I feel one has to learn to discard. If one changes internally, one should not continue to live with the same objects. They reflect one’s mind and the psyche of yesterday. I throw away what has no dynamic, living use.”
~Anaïs Nin~

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong;
but sometimes it is letting go.”
~Herman Hesse~

“You can’t hold a man down without staying down with him.
~Booker T. Washington~

“Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them;
but do not let them master you.
Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.
~Helen Keller~

“Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do
about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why
hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?”
~Leo Buscaglia~

“You have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by.
Yes, but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.”
~James Matthew Barrie~

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing.
There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow
people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a
time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”
~Gloria Naylor~

“The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions,
the more likely there’s gold in letting go of them.”
~John Seely Brown~

“Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It
means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood.”
~Karen Casey~

“It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease.
Hack away at the unessential.”
~Bruce Lee~

“Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not.
Add what is uniquely your own.”
~Bruce Lee~

“The field of consciousness is tiny.
It accepts only one problem at a time.”
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery~

“Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.”
~Bill Watterson~

“If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass,
you live more richly those moments.
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh~

“When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go,
then you’ll come to realize what you were dragging around with you.
And for that, no one else other than you was responsible.”
~Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh~