Showing posts with label Feelings & Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feelings & Thoughts. Show all posts

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Letting Go of Negative Emotions with "Shhhh"

Even if you are not angry, stressed, or frustrated right now,

  you have been in the past.

Those past negative emotions are “stored” in the major organs of your body.

Its time to breathe out these negative emotions.

Do you want to know how?

Breathe in deeply and slowly through your nose

…now…

Breathe out through your mouth making the sound “sshhh” all the way until the end of the breath.

This is an ancient form of detox that works on both the emotional and physical levels. It  will not only release stored negative emotions, but it will calm down your mind and all its chatter.

Try it – It works!

Monday, November 9, 2020

Being Grateful No Matter What

Be Grateful even if things aren’t working out like you hoped.

Be Grateful first thing in the morning…even if you don’t want to face the day and all you think it will bring.

Be Grateful that…this too shall end.

Just live in a space of gratitude.  Why not?  Being Miserable….is a miserable way to live.

Be Grateful.

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Leaning Into Letting Go...


Stop seeking joy, pleasure, happiness, peace,  and love — ONLY

That is not how life works.

Embrace pain, hurt, loss, sadness, anger, hate and death —

these TOO are a part of life.

Until you realize that,

you will always be fighting against yourself,

against being human,

against this earthly experience.

Sometimes you are going to get hurt.

It’s going to be painful.  

It’s not going to go the way you want it to.

Your heart is going to get broken.

Loved Ones are going to die.

You are going to feel lonely. 

Grow from it,

Learn from it.

Lean into it like a tree —

Trees don’t resist the weather —

they lean into it

& fully experience the wind, the rain, the storms, even the hurricanes

LEAN into you life.

Dance with it.

You’ll survive the painful times.

After Pain Comes Joy.

Life is a Journey.

Just Lean Right to Left, Front to Back &

STAND Strong Like a Tree

  Let Go to Let Come!  

~ Ridea Richardson

 

Saturday, November 7, 2020

Forgiveness and Letting Go

When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Forgive

Forgiveness Brings Peace

Forgiveness Brings Clarity

Forgiveness Allows You to Move On

Forgive Even if They Don’t Say They’re Sorry (some people aren’t sorry for hurting you, some people don’t even know or care that they hurt you — just let that go –that’s more about them and their character than it is about you)

Forgive Even If You’re Still Hurting

Forgive Even If You’re Still Suffering

It “feels” like you are giving away something & getting nothing in return when you forgive,

BUT

What you discover is that by for -giv(e) – ing – you are giving YOURSELF the power to move on (it’s a paradox…you can’t move on as long as you and your mind are stuck NOT forgiving.  You just keep re-living the hurt and pain over and over and over again)

Go Past the Hurt

Go Past the Pain

Go Past the Past

********************

Step Into Joy

Step Into Love

Step Into Your Future

Allow your future to come forth without the burden of  holding on to the grudges of the past

Walk and Step A Little Lighter Today

Do it for yourself.   Do it for your health. Do it for your future.  

Who Do You Need to Forgive Today?  

Just forgive them (or yourself – if that’s who you need to forgive).

 Even if all you do today is say out loud to yourself; “I forgive so and so for doing this or that or not doing this or that”.  

That’s how you start and all you have to do is start the process and allow life to put everything else into place…and it will…just trust the process.

Listen to the music, look at the below images and words and just focus on forgiving…and the power of forgiving…

 

Friday, November 6, 2020

Change Comes Whether You Initiate It Or Not

Letting go means change,

but change is going to come whether or not you are the one to let go or not.  

Change is going to come if you are going to continue to grow and to progress on your journey.

Fear  Of Change

You have to leave.  

You have to move.  

You have to say goodbye.  

You have to go a different route.

You have to take the leap of faith.

You have to resign.  

You have to not call or text back.  

You have to retire.

You have to get the divorce.  

You have to stop complaining.  

You have to quit smoking.  

You have to pay off your bills (eventually).

You have to save money for retiring.

You have to stop shopping.  

You have to leave relationships that are not healthy.

Do you HAVE to do these things?

 No, you can just keep on doing what you’re doing BUT something will change because that which can not be sustained will end – as they say in medicine the bleeding will stop (one way or the other).

Stop Being Afraid of Change.

If How You Are Living Is NOT Working  (and you know in the long run that it’s not going to work) then Let Go

Initiate & Embrace Change

(no, it’s NOT easy and it takes courage…)

Move On…Learn… & Grow…

Thursday, November 5, 2020

Living in the Seat of the Soul

Want to Know the Secret of Life?

First…watch this to help you forget about what you were thinking right before you opened this post…


Here are the lyrics:

I never longed for no where,

No group of a Thousand Thieves

Take away the obvious, or the soil where I plant my seed

But each time, I close my eyes

I find myself,  declined by the judgment of another day

Sitting in the silence, in the melody of the dark

He knows that sound is, the harbor of my heart

It only grows stronger, It only grows stronger

It only grows stronger, It only grows stronger

Wake up, to the soundtrack, of this chapter in our lives

Understand the playlist, skeems, within the scenery of time

Since the day, I was born, trying to make it, to the river while waltzing through the storm

No group of, a thousand thieves, shake the rumor, my heart release

It only grows stronger, It only grows stronger

  Now, back to the Secret of Life

Here it is

PAY ATTENTION

Of what you say….what do I pay attention to?

PAY ATTENTION to EVERYTHING

But…in order to pay attention to everything you MUST first PAY ATTENTION to the Voice in Your Head.

You know the voice I’m talking about. The one that is talking to you ALL THE TIME.  It’s talking to now as you read this.  It was talking to you when you listened to the video of Trixie Whitley. Maybe it said things like:  “Who is that?  Is she new?  I’ve never heard of her?  I like her. She’s different. ”

On and on, that voice NEVER shuts up and it never will UNTIL you PAY ATTENTION TO IT.  It just wants you to pay attention to it .  Think about it like a child.  A child screams until you “really” pay attention to him or her.  That voice in your head is screaming and will continue to until you pay attention to it.

How do you “pay attention” to that voice in your head?

Just sit back and listen to it like you are listening to someone else talk to you.

Be a witness to it.

Be an observer of it.

Watch it like you’re watching a movie.

Trust me… even though many of you don’t personally know me…trust me when I tell you that if you can get this and do it, then it will change your life.

Why will this change your life?

Because right now you are probably just “living  in your head”.

You are EXPERIENCING  life WHILE you are listening to this voice in your head BUT you aren’t PAYING ATTENTION to what you’re EXPERIENCING because you are listening to this voice in your head narrate to you, talk to you, debate with you, confuse you, and tell you what to do.

Once you understand that the voice in your head is NOT you.  You know it is not you because you can watch it  like you just watched the video.   The voice is a thing. Thoughts are things. The voice is an object and you are the observer.

It is only once you have taken on the voice (wait, let me stop here) what do I mean by that?  You have to allow it to do its thing…that MIGHT be scare the hell out of you with its fears, its “scary” predictions of what could go wrong or what is wrong or let it relive the hurts and pains of the past or things you should have said or should have done.  That’s what I mean by “taking it on”.  Face it down like it’s a bully.  Just stand up to it and listen to its chatter.  Until you can do THAT and show it you AREN’T afraid of where it goes, you’ll never win the battle.

NOW once you put the voice in its place (remember it is NOT you, it’s just the voice in your head) then you can now PAY ATTENTION to the EXPERIENCES that YOU are  having in life.  All the experiences.

I don’t care if that EXPERIENCE is washing dishes.  The next time you have dirty dishes, PAY ATTENTION to every step of washing the dishes, rinsing them off, putting them in the dishwasher, putting in the dish washing liquid, starting the dishwasher or actually washing the dishes in the sink one by one.

I think about when Jesus taught that to FIND YourSelf  (that one who seats in the deep space within and can observe the voice, the real Self) you have to LOSE Yourself (the ego, the psyche, the voice in your head, the little self). Also when he taught about how to come to a higher consciousness   — as a little child. Think about a little child washing the dishes for the FIRST time.  THEY are paying attention.  THEY are thrilled to have the opportunity to have the EXPERIENCE. Move through your life like that…like a little child…just happy for the experience…no matter what it is…let the voice in your head and your emotions put a label on it as good or bad or how it makes you feel…but YOU just observe and experience it all.

Now of course while you are washing the dishes the “voice in your head” wants you to listen to it, but if you have practiced being able to separate yourself from the voice you can shut it off (practice meditation – no thoughts) and simply wash the dishes.  You can go back to listening to that hypnotic un-harnessed voice later…that’s if you want to waste another minute, waste another day, waste another year, waste another decade of YOUR life.

Once you learn to PAY ATTENTION to the EXPERIENCES of your  LIFE, you can then EXPRESS Your Uniqueness.

Express Your Uniqueness

 

Once you get on that track…watch out because then you will find the authentic life that only YOU can live. 

 It will be like there is a Force, there is a Wind, there is a Power, there is a Source, that moves through you…and then you ONLY GROW STRONGER every day…because…you are living your life Sitting in the Seat of the Soul or as Trixie Whitley calls it Sitting in the Silence

Now…Fall in Love with the process of discovering your Self…It’s so Powerful!

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Don't Give Up

dont-give-up

 

You may be having a bad morning, a bad week, or a bad year for that matter.

Don’t Give Up.

You may be depressed.  You may feel flat.  You may feel weak. You may feel like you can’t go on.

Don’t Give Up.

It might be hard.  You may feel hopeless.  You may not want to get out of the bed.

Don’t Give Up.

You have come this far.

You have endured so much.

You will make it through this time in your life.

Don’t Give Up.

Think back…you’ve been through tough times before.  You made it through.

You know this too shall pass.

 Just Don’t Give Up.

~Ridea Richardson

(Even if you have to find and paint a teeny tiny rock and write the words “Don’t Give Up” on it as a reminder…Just Keep Going, Things Will Work Out, There is a Plan, The Plan is Good, It’s Better Than You Think…Don’t Give Up…)

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Fear is a Prison...It Keeps You Small

Fear is a prison

Fear is not real. Fear is how you “feel” and feelings are not Facts.   Feelings come and go.

Letting go and moving on is hard.  It is difficult.  It is painful. I don’t care if you KNOW you need to let go of your dead-end job, your toxic relationship or your addictions and unhealthy behaviors…IT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN. It is a process, and it can be a very difficult process.

At some point you have to take full responsibility for your life and your decisions.   Forget about the story that you are telling yourself in your head about how you got to where you are today.  Stop beating yourself up.  You are where you are.  That is a fact. Just start from where you are right now — even if it is a crazy bad place and ask yourself:

1. What do I want?

2. What do I deserve? (Not what you “feel” you deserve – that will just take you down another rabbit hole.)

3. What is the worst thing that could happen if I let go/if I move on?

You can stay stuck or you can move on.

Moving on is not going to be what you have today, but you don’t know what it will actually be.  That is the dilemma of letting go.   I read somewhere to always and only visualize the end result, not the process. Visualizing the process can drive you crazy because there are so many pieces that need to fit into place. You can’t control all of that.  You have to just take for granted that:

even though you don’t know the plan…the plan is good…

Just figure out what you want and visualize the picture of the end result  and let the universe get you there.  You will know as you start this travel to your destination if the sign post along the way are getting you to your end result.  You may have to make course corrections along the way, but you have to know where you want to go.

Now, expect and wait for, the VOICES IN YOUR HEAD to start their job.

You know the voices I’m talking about.  The ones that say:

1.  This will never work out.

2. I’ve tried this 100 times what makes me think this time will be different?

3. This is too hard.  Why is life so hard?

…and on the voices will go…just listen to them, but know that they are just the gatekeepers.  EVERYBODY has those same small voices in their head, but it’s only those people who get beyond the gatekeepers that actually realize their true potential.  KNOCK THOSE GATES DOWN.  It starts with the gatekeeper called FEAR…fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the future…

Fear is a prison of the mind.

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”  ~ M. Scott Peck 

 

Monday, November 2, 2020

The Power of Breathing

Breathe

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky.

Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

― Thích Nhất Hạnh

Neuroscience Research about the power of breathing rhythmically while focusing on your heart. 

It’s a long video, but it’s worth it. It’s information that “you don’t know, that you don’t know”. He talks about the difference between emotions, feelings and thoughts .  He explains that emotions are energy in motion and where that energy is coming from… the organs of your body…primarily your heart.  He basically answers some of the “why” questions regarding behavior and performance.  

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Dealing With Emotions While Miserable At Work

When you are in a job that you want to ‘Just Quit’ there are lots of emotions that you will experience everyday.

The below poem will help you cope. Once you realize that you have to take the good with the bad and that you will get thru this dark tunnel you will be able to welcome it all.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi

Monday, June 1, 2015

People Are The Common Denominator In Stressful Workplaces

Daily I read the Just Quit survey results.  Daily there are people all of the world responding and looking for hope, looking for a way out of their stressful work situations.

As I look at the reasons people want to just quit there are many “individual” reasons.  This week we had 40 entries…40 folks who want to quit because of management, bullying, stress, coworkers, unprofessionalism, the culture, terrible bosses, etc.

As I look for a common denominator it is PEOPLE.  Not just PEOPLE, but compassion and strengthPEOPLE who don’t value other PEOPLE.  PEOPLE who are not compassionate, don’t show empathy, are striving for power, money and prestige — at the expense of other PEOPLE.

It doesn’t seem to matter the job, profession or industry. This week’s list of professions is at the end of this post. It has occurred to me that you can’t escape the fact that you have to work with other people. They could be your boss, co-workers, team members or customers.

You can’t MAKE people act the way you want them to.  You can’t make people respect you. You can’t control them, but you can control yourself.  You can control your own emotions.  You can control how you think and treat other people.

I have an idea of what might work.  Show compassion to everyone you meet at work this week – even your boss – even the customers who get on your nerves or your co-workers.  Do this everyday and all day this week.  Just look at people and KNOW that they are suffering.  You may never know WHY they are suffering, but still show compassion and wish for them happiness.  Just send happiness their way in your thoughts.

I know this sounds weak and soft but there is something very powerful about doing that (while you yourself are suffering; maybe even depressed).   Suppose EVERYONE who reads this post does this at work this week? Collectively we can change the working world one place at a time.

So instead of focusing on being depressed, stressed, unhappy, and unfulfilled just show compassion to others this entire week – even those people you think are a jerk and/or you see as a part of the problem where you work…just try it.  Tweet me @Ridea or email me and let me know how it goes.

 

PhysiotherapyToday, 8:23PM
Associate brand managerToday, 7:13PM
BookkeeperToday, 4:04PM
IT ContractorToday, 3:03PM
AdministrationToday, 12:07PM
BankingToday, 12:06PM
mental health counselorToday, 8:09AM
Team LeaderToday, 5:00AM
administrationToday, 2:12AM
civil engineeringYesterday, 6:44PM
bankingYesterday, 6:29PM
Retail-support team pricing and signing captainYesterday, 9:58AM
RetailYesterday, 8:36AM
FinanceFriday, May 29th 6:32PM
Human resourcesFriday, May 29th 4:43PM
Network administratorFriday, May 29th 4:41PM
Adult Education, coordinatorFriday, May 29th 1:16PM
merchandiserFriday, May 29th 12:41PM
Youth and program developmentFriday, May 29th 1:00AM
Youth Direct CareFriday, May 29th 12:28AM
Marketing Campaign ManagerThursday, May 28th 11:24PM
warehouse forklift operaterThursday, May 28th 10:00PM
retailThursday, May 28th 4:05PM
programmer analystThursday, May 28th 3:21PM
managementThursday, May 28th 2:35PM
managing an ice arenaThursday, May 28th 11:22AM
managing an ice arenaThursday, May 28th 11:03AM
legalThursday, May 28th 5:42AM
PRThursday, May 28th 1:33AM
director of operations in trucking industry and truck driverWednesday, May 27th 9:06PM
director of operations in trucking industry and truck driverWednesday, May 27th 9:06PM
sign industryWednesday, May 27th 5:11PM
CommunicationsWednesday, May 27th 8:43AM
Youth Development SpecialistWednesday, May 27th 4:24AM
automotive quality engineerTuesday, May 26th 5:24PM
Client Service ManagerTuesday, May 26th 2:48PM
receptionistTuesday, May 26th 8:08AM
EducationTuesday, May 26th 7:35AM
Business Development managerTuesday, May 26th 6:06AM
store ManagerMonday, May 25th 10:40PM
RecruimentMonday, May 25th 10:18PM
Pharmacy TechMonday, May 25th 3:10AM
Outside Sales / pharmaSunday, May 24th 8:47PM
pt merchandiserSunday, May 24th 3:21PM
pt merchandiserSunday, May 24th 3:15PM
Operations ManagerSunday, May 24th 2:46PM
aaSunday, May 24th 8:35AM
RN at hospitalSunday, May 24th 8:17AM

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

How Do You Feel Today?

When you learn to let go to let come you won’t “feel good” right way.

In time you will feel good and see things in a new way and be able to sleep in peace.

Your current world, will be the old world. 

There will be a new dawn, a new day and a new life…let it come…

don’t wait for the new year to begin…

start today to learn the benefits of letting go of the old for the new to come into your life.

 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Let Go of Being Angry When Others Hurt You

 

Relationships are like glass.

Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken

than try to hurt yourself

putting them back together.

~Author Unknown

Looking at that broken glass and broken heart…hurts…doesn’t it?  But this is how it is in love and in relationships…sometimes it hurts.  Sometimes you will get hurt and it’s  painful.

When we are in pain we start to blame others for “hurting us”.  Just like we have to let go of some relationships we have to let go of the anger we may feel towards the people who hurt us in those relationships.  Remember people don’t hurt you without hurting themselves too. Sometimes the way they treat you is more about how they feel about themselves then how they feel about you.

Still… it’s difficult to let go of anger once you’ve been hurt, because sometimes you just WANT to be angry… because you’re hurting…because someone…

~Said something to hurt you

~Did something to hurt you

~Didn’t do or didn’t say something and THAT hurt you

~Let you down

~Wasn’t there for you when you needed them

~Disappointed you

There are many ways that we can be hurt by others, and yes, it is painful.  But let that go for just a minute.

Let go of what they said, what they did, how they let you down, how they disappointed you and how you feel, just for a minute.

When you look behind the pain you feel, you begin to realize that pain (like love) is just a part of life.

Feeling this pain might be what allows you to move on – realizing that it’s a part of life and life is about growth.

This maybe when you’re suppose to move on – when you are in so much pain and the pain you feel is so intense that it cuts you open.

They may have done you a favor by showing you how they feel about you.  Maybe they spared you from YEARS of more pain. The universe may have supplied the answer that you have been seeking, by allowing this to happen, and helping you to let go of them and not trying to “fix it”.

Just be grateful for your life, your experiences, even the pain, and the hurt, and the anger that you might feel.

Everything will be alright — if you can let go –of trying to fix it — of trying to make it work out — maybe letting go of them and the anger you feel towards them is the way it is supposed to work out.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Life is Like a Rollercoaster Ride

Buckroe Beach Roller Coaster 1960’s

A friend, who is going through a transitional time right now, said he felt like he was on an emotional roller coaster.  

That made me think that life is like a roller coaster ride. 

When you are born you get on the ride of the living.  

During your life you go through the ups and downs.

There are months or years of lulls which are the straight-aways and then it’s either a small up and small down (small changes)  or a steep up (highs) followed by a deep downs (lows).  

There is always another high coming from the low,  you can count on that.  

Even though you might go through some  twists and turns before you get to the next high…you know it’s coming…so expect it.   (That’s how I feel about finances – if you’ve had money before you know what that high feels like and you know how to orchestrate  it to come your way again …it’s coming).  

Just like the roller coaster ride I went on my entire childhood at Buckroe Beach (pictured above), we all knew what to expect:

  1. You knew you were going to be afraid, but you went on the ride because you wanted the thrill of the adventure.
  2.  The roller coaster was the ride that had the longest line (the next longest was the bumper cars).  
  3. EVERYONE wanted to get on the roller coaster – (Even though this roller coaster was old, rickety and was made of wood!!!)…still….you wanted to get on that ride.  
  4. You wanted to be jerked around and scared out of your wits.  (Why? You felt alive on that ride!)
  5. You would eventually come to the end of the ride and then what would you do? You’d get back in line to go again of course!  (Give it another go!)

 This is how life and life situations should be viewed.  

You know it’s a little frightening because it’s the unknown around every turn – health issues, money issues, relationship issues, issues of life and death…

…but, it’s okay…

just go with the downs (letting go)

and go with the ups (letting come)

  It will be fine and CAN be thrilling once you realize that it’s-just-a-ride.

Life is  just like a roller coaster…it’s just a ride.

One day it will end &

you’ll have to get off this ride called

YOUR LIFE…

Don’t let another second go by

Just raise your hands in the air

& ENJOY the experience of

this ride called Your Life 

with all the twists and the turns

& both the ups AND THE DOWNS!

 

 

 

 

Friday, July 27, 2012

Total Allowing - Being Fearless

Have you ever just allowed your thoughts to happen?

Your mind is chattering all the time – most of the time without any real awareness from you – but have you just allowed it to go on and on AND just noticed it?

It is an interesting thing to do – just allowing your thoughts to happen.

Not trying to change them.  Not trying to stop them. Not trying to control them. Just Allowing Them.  Just Watching Them.

Trust Life. Allow Don’t Force

When you completely allow them to happen – even the scariest ones – it brings a level of peace that is hard to really understand.

Once you allow the fear in and just face it, it gets smaller.

When you are “fearless” and allow the fearful thoughts they cower away like a bully who has met its match.

Total Allowing (& The Source of This Term)

I’ve been practicing this – total allowing –  for a several months now after finding one of the best blogs on planet earth…at least to me…called Calm Down Mind. There is information in his posts that truly resonant with me.  It’s like a foreign language that I understand and have been looking for FOREVER.

Below is an example of how allowing played out during the month of July:  (the below will seem “bad”, but these things were going to happen anyway, so, it’s more a matter of how I reacted to them than to the facts themselves)

The air conditioner went out in the heat of summer.  “Oh no!  How much will that cost?” was the first thing that came to mind. Major system repairs are the greatest fear of homeowners because it’s a major expense.  I actually was VERY fearful, but I just allowed the fearful thoughts.  I really paid attention to how I felt, the emotions that were causing sensations in my body. It was really very bad.  I even wrote about it, just typed out how I was feeling in a word document just to get it out and put it in writing.  The Solution:  The compressor only needed Freon. It happened to be R-22, which is expensive (long story), but not a MAJOR expense.  Calamity averted!

Then a week later the air conditioner went out again.  This time I wasn’t afraid as much. Not the overwhelming – “What am I going to do type of fear”.  It became rather matter of fact for me. Call the company back, be home for them to come out, deal with whatever was wrong with the unit.

This time I needed a new coil  – $1300.  It’s gets worse.  The compressor worked, but the compressor takes the “old” R-22 refrigerate and if I use that compressor with a new coil when the compressor did die (and it was at the end of its life)  I’ll then need another new coil as well because you can’t mix the old and a new refrigerate in the same coil.

Okay – it’s a purchasing decision – I needed a new coil and compressor. I negotiated the price down to $4000 after learning all about the two pieces of equipment. But, honestly who has $4,000 just lying around and accessible these days?  Still I didn’t panic.  My mind kept telling me to be afraid and all the reasons I should be panicking, but I wasn’t afraid. I just allowed those thoughts in and went back to thinking about my options. I could find the money.  Still not panicking. I just kept wondering – “why aren’t you afraid?”  I felt I should have been afraid because I really couldn’t afford this $4000 expense, but I wasn’t panicked.

Then I get the call that you NEVER want to get.  Death in your family.  Not just any family member but your mother. So, your air is out to the tune of $4,000 to get it replaced and your mother just died. Still. Don’t. Panic. The air conditioner situation seemed really small after knowing that my mother had just died  — tiny.

Dealing with all the emotions that were whirling around and in me during the week before my mother’s funeral and the day of the funeral were truly one of a kind.  That’s another blog…

Coming back from the funeral to a hot-house and having to endure it for a week until I could schedule the repairman.  There were some moments I got fearful because I was dizzy and almost fainted in the 104 degree heated house.  It felt like a sauna, even at night, but I allowed that as well and just experienced it. All I kept thinking about was how grateful I would be once I had air back.  I just did not want to forget how miserable I was then, so I could remain grateful later on.  Then I contemplated growing up without air conditioner for 18 years and thought of all the people over the world who don’t have air conditioner now.

Basically what I learned over the month of July 2012 was that “total allowing” – works.  It’s not easy and it takes work, but it does work.  Those times during that first week of mourning my mother that I tried to force something it really backfired because strong or misplaced emotions came roaring back. It is NOT easy to allow your thoughts and to act and not react to things that are happening, but it is a step towards growth, and trust in the universe, and in God (as you know God to be), and knowing that everything is working out as it should.

Fear starts in the mind and in the thoughts, but when you don’t allow the frightening ones they don’t go away.

You try to abort them and they don’t die.

 They come back with a vengeance.

So, part of letting go… is letting go of trying to control your thoughts –  out of fear of those thoughts.

Just Totally Allow.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Just Let Go of Anger

“The angry people are those who are most afraid.”

~ Dr. Robert Anthony

 

LETTING GO OF ANGER IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE

Over this Memorial Day Holiday I decided to start working on my checklist of home repair/maintenance items.  One item on my list was to get my house power-washed  and the gutters cleaned.  I had a few flyers put in my mailbox over the spring and decided to call one of the numbers on the flyer.

CALLING THE WRONG NUMBER

I knew right away that I should have called the next number, because the guy wanted the job too badly. But…I thought how bad could it be.  Let’s just say that it’s three days later and I still don’t have my house power-washed, BUT I have this guys ladder in my back yard along with his water hose (which means he has to come back).  He wants an additional $40 for fixing the fence and putting up fascia that came off (things I never asked him to do) and he ran into the utility pole in my yard and bent it (he didn’t tell me, just didn’t think it was important for me know this). Needless to say I was angry.  I was angrier than I’ve been in a long time.

GETTING ANGRY – WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

I had to think back over my life when and why I’ve been that angry.  Usually it was when people tried to get over on me, when people wasted my time, or when I felt people were just plain mean and scary — frightening.  So after I identified the feelings that were happening to me I just allowed them to happen.  I just fully experienced the anger.  I fully experienced the fear of dealing with someone who felt “dark” to me.  Someone unable to control his need to harm others, abuse others, scare others, and just be unfair in his dealing with others.  I thought of all the things I wanted to do to get back at him for making me angry and afraid, THEN I just stopped and wondered what exactly was I afraid of.  The unknown of what he could do to me or my house? My mind was racing on what COULD happen…still could I guess because it’s not resolved.

GRATEFULNESS FOR THE EXPERIENCE

I went back to being grateful.  Grateful that I am not around a person like that on a daily basis.  Grateful that I am not him.  Grateful I don’t have to live this life like he does. Grateful that I am safe today.  Grateful that he didn’t power-wash my house and  mess it up. Grateful that I’m only out of $100 and not $125 “deposit”.  Grateful that my childhood experiences and professional training has allowed me to recognize people like him and know how to deal with him.  Grateful that I had that experience and felt that sort of anger and fear again.  (At some point when you have been living in peace and serenity for as long as I have you forget what these “negative” intense feelings feel like).   Grateful that I could allow it and just let it go, let it ebb away from me.  Grateful that I can trust life and what it has in store for me (even though I know there is still the possibility I’ll get angry again and there may be something real to fear in final dealings with him). Grateful  none-the-less that I’m able to see the value even in this thing.

You can let go of anger…just allow it…feel it…recognize it…

You can let go of fear…just allow it…feel it…recognize it….

Post Note: June 1, 2012 – Still haven’t heard from the “dark natured’ guy, still have his ladder and hose.  Maybe I’ll never hear from him again.

Post-Post Note: June 6, 2012 – Still haven’t heard from the “dark natured’ guy.  Decided to research on line how to power-wash a house with a hose and DISCOVERED a product call Mold Armor at Home Depot for $8.97.  I brought it and it worked like a charm.  My house looks like new — for a grand total of  $8.97.  Let’s just say if he doesn’t show up or call EVER again…then the experience was valuable.  For $100 I got a lesson in anger, my fenced fixed, my fascia put back on the house, a ladder that reaches the second floor, a very long garden hose AND the realization that MOST EVERYTHING I have on my list to fix around the house I can find instructions on YOU TUBE…I even figured out and FIXED the garbage disposal…I’m smiling now!

 

Monday, April 2, 2012

Let Go of Trying to Control Your Thoughts

Just let your thoughts happen.

Just watch them like you are watching television. “Oh, look at that it was a thought.” Ping

Your mind is CONSTANTLY thinking.  That voice in your head thinks it runs the show.  It really does.  We have given it so much power that we might believe that it runs the show as well.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR BRAIN.  You are not what you are thinking.  You know this because of the hundreds, thousands even, of senseless thoughts that run across your mind. It NEVER ends. It NEVER will.  SO…just enjoy the journey.

Observe Your Thoughts
Observe Your Thoughts

Can you control your thoughts?  Yes, you can – with breathing techniques, various meditations and other practices.  Which of course all require some thought.  You really can’t escape your mind and thinking, so don’t struggle against it, just observe it and allow it to do its thing – for now. It has been doing it’s thing all along while you’ve been living unconsciously, but now with observation it will prove to be an interesting exercise. It will be like your mind is on trial.  It’s going to hate that…because it’s been running amok for so long without being put in check.

Once you can be comfortable with NOT TRYING to control your thoughts, naturally, your thoughts, especially the negative ones will start to become fewer and fewer.  All those fears of what could happen, what might happen, what should have happened will seem so silly.

As your negative thoughts start to ebb away, your life will become calmer and more in line with your purpose or reason for being here.  You’ll know when it starts to happen because you will have loped off people, places and things that are misaligned and causing you negative emotions and energy.  It will be like scales falling away from you.  Those people, places, things will just seem foreign to you.  You’ll find that you can unattached yourself without a great deal of struggle and strive.

It all starts with just observing your thinking.  DON’T THINK ABOUT IT,  JUST OBSERVE.  You will quickly realize that it is the “monkey mind” that you are observing and it’s completely senseless and NOT who you really are.

Keep on thinking all your thoughts. 

The only thing to do now is to just observe them like you are watching them from outside of yourself.  

Have fun…don’t make it a job description…just sit down and observe the voice in your head…

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Let Go of The Heavy Burden - Let Come Your Life That Wants To Unfold

Once you realize that the universe is able and WILLING to give you want you need, who you need, when you need it and what it gives to you will fulfill all of your needs (not some of your needs, but ALL of your needs)  there is no longer any worrying about the future or regretting the past.  You can live in the now.  Now, is really is all there is. This present moment really is a wonderful moment.  This moment, right here, right now.

Letting Go is a Relief

Haven’t you experienced that when you let go of something that, or someone who “seemed” so hard (impossible even)  to let go of that when you finally do, it is a relief.  It is like a burden that you were carrying around with you that was so

Heavy Burden
Heavy Burden

unnecessary.  Just imagine carrying a heavy load on your shoulders that is weighing you down.  Then you realize that all you have to do is to put the heavy load down on the ground then you can move on more freely and at ease.   You wonder why you felt it necessary to  “hold on”  or “keep probing up” the familiar that wasn’t working for you and was completely out of alignment with what you needed or wanted.

No matter how many things, people or places you’ve learned to let go of, letting go it is still a process that takes practice.

Just Let Life Happen – Stop Struggling

Just let life flow and let things come to you that are meant for you. Be in alignment with what the universe wants to give to you.  Don’t struggle and go against the grain of the flow of life.  Life really isn’t a struggle.  You may think that it is.  It might be difficult dealing with people, family , friends, and loved ones but in the final analysis life is what you make it to be.  Life is really a gift to you, to experience life.  Just stop. Just breathe. There are people all over the world that are being asked to leave this earth and they would give anything for another day to breathe, to love and to live.  If you are reading this you are still alive and you have another moment.  Just breathe in and breathe out.  Feel how it feels to be in your body.  Appreciate that!

How Will You Know When You Need To Let Go?

When you start releasing the load and things start to unfold, people come that wouldn’t have come otherwise, someone emails you that you haven’t heard from in years, things happen that show you the way, a picture starts to unfold on the blank canvas, and the fog clears.  All that holding on to what wasn’t for you or who wasn’t for you dissolves and you know that letting go and living in the present moment is all there is and you’re using the keys that have unlocked the pathway to living a joyful life  – which is your natural state and you feel wonderful and grateful just to be alive.

 

Friday, January 27, 2012

Just Quit Ignoring What You Know You Need To Do

More than half the time we KNOW what we need to do.  Our intuition tells us what we need to do,  where we need to go, what we need to say, what or who we need to let go of.

But…we just don’t want to accept what we KNOW we need to do.  We argue with ourselves. We second guess ourselves.  We think “maybe” things aren’t “really” that bad. We think “maybe” we’re being too rash or harsh or mean or judgmental.

Just Do It!

So what do we do?  We go against what we KNOW we need to do.  Why do we do that?  Because usually what we need to do requires change, and change is hard.

But…no matter what… change is going to come.  The more we realize that we can be a part of the change process and we can help co-create our future, things start to shift. It’s not so scary anymore making the hard decisions and doing what we KNOW we need to do. We begin to see  more clearly that what is… may not be… all that there is.  This isn’t new. We already know this.  We already know from past experiences or current situations how not going ahead and doing what we know we need to do impacts us:

  • You hated your boss. You hated your job.  You dreaded waking up in the morning.  What did you do?  You stayed on.  You were scared of moving on (for one reason or the other).  What happened?  Eventually something changed, but maybe not the way you wanted it to.   The company downsized and you got laid off, or you had to take on m0re work because you were one of the one’s who didn’t get laid off.
  • You had outgrown your spouse.  You felt stuck in a miserable marriage.  You hated coming home.  You knew somebody needed to leave.  You knew separation was inevitable, it was just a matter of when, not if.  What did you do?  You stayed.  You were afraid to move on.  What happened?  Things got a lot worse and the break-up was horrible for everyone involved.
  • You’ve lived in the same town your whole life.  You’ve visited other places, but not lived any other place.  You’ve talked to people who had left their hometowns and they now talked about how “small” it seems to them.  You regret never having left.  You felt like you wanted to leave, but couldn’t see a path forward.  What did you do?  You stayed.  You were afraid to leave your hometown.  What happened?  You’re still there, feeling like you’ve missed out on something or feeling like a failure whenever you have to talk to people who’ve left and come back home to visit.
  • You’ve work for someone else your entire career.  Well, maybe you’ve done some small stuff on your own, but nothing on the level that you’ve dreamed. You’ve got great ideas (but who doesn’t).  You’ve got the education and the credentials to do your own thing. You look at others who’ve stepped out on their own and wonder how on earth they could have done it and you’re still stuck getting a paycheck.  You just sit back and wonder what the hold-up is.  Guess what?  You’re the hold-up.  You’ve been afraid to get started (and not just the go down get the business license, buy the business cards, write the business plan stuff — 20% of folks can and have done that) it’s the actual hitting the pavement,  making things happen, making money, and making a difference.

Most of us have been in one of the above situations, or something similar.

Your time has come. Stop waiting on it.   It’s your time to realize who we are, why you’re here and get on with what you KNOW you need to do.

Just keep moving towards what you KNOW you need to do. There is something inside of you that already knows. Trust it. Believe it and move forward.  NO ONE can tell you what to do.  NO ONE can tell you when to do it. NO ONE can live your life for you.  This is your life.  Make it your life.  Don’t live the life people think you should live.  Don’t live someone else’s life.  One day you’ll wake up and wonder –What the heck?  Is THIS my life? What’s going on? Who am I?  What am I doing?  Don’t wait too late to just quit doing what isn’t working.  Do what you know needs to be done in just one situation in your life and you will have the courage to live the life that you’ve imagined.

Just listen — get quiet — be still  — and listen

You KNOW What You Need To Do.

Now DO it!

 

 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Just Quit Thinking Your Situations are Impossible

This marriage is impossible.

Paying these bills are impossible.

Finding a job is impossible.

Raising these teenagers is impossible.

Starting a company is impossible.

Losing weight is impossible.

Saving money is impossible.

Finishing college is impossible.

Forgiving others is impossible.

Keeping the house clean is impossible.

Finding time to get it all done is impossible.

Solving all the problems in this country is impossible.

Figuring out who “God” is – is impossible. 

If it were impossible then – it– would– NOT– be– possible–

under any circumstance.

Honestly, are many or any of these everyday “circumstances” really impossible?

Didn’t you think other things that were hard seem impossible too?

Didn’t they work out?

Maybe it was not easy or quick or solvable the way you wanted them to be, but they weren’t impossible.

Moving from

Impossible

to I’m Possible:

1. Accept What Is and Be Grateful For What Is

2. Decide that it is Possible because of the I’m in Possible

 3. See Opportunities from the I’m Possible Vantage Point

Let Go of “Impossible”

Free Yourself