Have you ever just allowed your thoughts to happen?
Your mind is chattering all the time – most of the time without any real awareness from you – but have you just allowed it to go on and on AND just noticed it?
It is an interesting thing to do – just allowing your thoughts to happen.
Not trying to change them. Not trying to stop them. Not trying to control them. Just Allowing Them. Just Watching Them.
When you completely allow them to happen – even the scariest ones – it brings a level of peace that is hard to really understand.
Once you allow the fear in and just face it, it gets smaller.
When you are “fearless” and allow the fearful thoughts they cower away like a bully who has met its match.
Total Allowing (& The Source of This Term)
I’ve been practicing this – total allowing – for a several months now after finding one of the best blogs on planet earth…at least to me…called Calm Down Mind. There is information in his posts that truly resonant with me. It’s like a foreign language that I understand and have been looking for FOREVER.
Below is an example of how allowing played out during the month of July: (the below will seem “bad”, but these things were going to happen anyway, so, it’s more a matter of how I reacted to them than to the facts themselves)
The air conditioner went out in the heat of summer. “Oh no! How much will that cost?” was the first thing that came to mind. Major system repairs are the greatest fear of homeowners because it’s a major expense. I actually was VERY fearful, but I just allowed the fearful thoughts. I really paid attention to how I felt, the emotions that were causing sensations in my body. It was really very bad. I even wrote about it, just typed out how I was feeling in a word document just to get it out and put it in writing. The Solution: The compressor only needed Freon. It happened to be R-22, which is expensive (long story), but not a MAJOR expense. Calamity averted!
Then a week later the air conditioner went out again. This time I wasn’t afraid as much. Not the overwhelming – “What am I going to do type of fear”. It became rather matter of fact for me. Call the company back, be home for them to come out, deal with whatever was wrong with the unit.
This time I needed a new coil – $1300. It’s gets worse. The compressor worked, but the compressor takes the “old” R-22 refrigerate and if I use that compressor with a new coil when the compressor did die (and it was at the end of its life) I’ll then need another new coil as well because you can’t mix the old and a new refrigerate in the same coil.
Okay – it’s a purchasing decision – I needed a new coil and compressor. I negotiated the price down to $4000 after learning all about the two pieces of equipment. But, honestly who has $4,000 just lying around and accessible these days? Still I didn’t panic. My mind kept telling me to be afraid and all the reasons I should be panicking, but I wasn’t afraid. I just allowed those thoughts in and went back to thinking about my options. I could find the money. Still not panicking. I just kept wondering – “why aren’t you afraid?” I felt I should have been afraid because I really couldn’t afford this $4000 expense, but I wasn’t panicked.
Then I get the call that you NEVER want to get. Death in your family. Not just any family member but your mother. So, your air is out to the tune of $4,000 to get it replaced and your mother just died. Still. Don’t. Panic. The air conditioner situation seemed really small after knowing that my mother had just died — tiny.
Dealing with all the emotions that were whirling around and in me during the week before my mother’s funeral and the day of the funeral were truly one of a kind. That’s another blog…
Coming back from the funeral to a hot-house and having to endure it for a week until I could schedule the repairman. There were some moments I got fearful because I was dizzy and almost fainted in the 104 degree heated house. It felt like a sauna, even at night, but I allowed that as well and just experienced it. All I kept thinking about was how grateful I would be once I had air back. I just did not want to forget how miserable I was then, so I could remain grateful later on. Then I contemplated growing up without air conditioner for 18 years and thought of all the people over the world who don’t have air conditioner now.
Basically what I learned over the month of July 2012 was that “total allowing” – works. It’s not easy and it takes work, but it does work. Those times during that first week of mourning my mother that I tried to force something it really backfired because strong or misplaced emotions came roaring back. It is NOT easy to allow your thoughts and to act and not react to things that are happening, but it is a step towards growth, and trust in the universe, and in God (as you know God to be), and knowing that everything is working out as it should.