Just Quit Your Job Survey Results - March 2013

No Soul. No Joy. No Reason.

That was one of the comments as to why someone was thinking about quitting their job without another one.

That sums it up for so many who are miserable in their jobs and henceforth with their lives. People are hurting.  Many… people… are…really… hurting. To everyone out there going through this please know that even though you feel like you are alone, you are not alone. I know that it is very, very hard for you to believe, BUT you will make it through this time in your life and your current work situation.  I can remember that feeling of hopelessness, but just know that this will come to an end (and without anyone getting hurt).   

Summary of Survey Results Ending March 31, 2013:

30 Respondents

Gender and Income Levels: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 Countries:

United States, Singapore, Canada, United Kingdom

12 States in the U.S.A.: 

California, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Washington, Ohio, New Jersey, Indiana, and New York

Below Are The Comments from March 1 – March 31, 2013 to “Why Are You Thinking About Quitting Your Job Without Another One?”

• It is toxic, micromanagement, boss told me it is his way or no way at all and he is doing everything possible to put me in the wrong direction and says so with happy face. Toxic!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Illegal practices going on in business. Backstabbing.
• I want to Quit because I hate my job. The only reason I have not quit is because I don’t have another job lined-up. I have an idea of what I want to do, but am worried what other people (i.e. parents) might think.

I live with my parents, and don’t have to pay any rent. I have no children and no other responsibilities.

The money I have saved could last me for at least a year.
So why don’t I just leave my job?

Several reasons:
—————-
1) I don’t like the stigma that comes with being unemployed and other people judging you.

2) Before my current job, I was unemployed for 1 year and
6 months. I’m worried I won’t find another job.

2) I want to spend time playing and building my Online Poker bankroll. I’ve been playing on and off for 2 years. I have read books, played over a 100k hands and I believe that if I put in a lot of hours I can be successful.

• I am depressed and disengaged. The job is boring and I am not appreciated.
• I get physically sick at the thought of going to work.
• I don’t like the customers
  There are too many weird and/or dangerous incidents
  I am feeling burned out
  I am tired of doing the same thing all the time
• Because I have no soul, no joy, no reason to maintain this equilibrium anymore.
• I’ve survived in an incredibly difficult and low paying job that’s affecting my health, has left me filled with rage and depression for the past two years, and shows every sign of getting worse. The people I work for have proven to be distrustworthy on more than one occasion, and constantly employ bad business ethics and bully anyone who stands up to them. For instance, it is routine to deny minimum wage workers legal overtime pay for many overtime hours worked on a WEEKLY BASIS. I am in a management position, and have tried to curtail these practices with every plea–short of filing a federal wage claim (which I was also bullied about)–to no avail. My family has plead for me to leave this job because it has left me completely isolated, emotionally and physically unwell, beyond stressed, and very angry to be unable to stop corrupt business practices. Also, did I mention I’m working in the food service industry? Oh, and I’m also barely making above minimum wage myself, uncompensated for overtime hours worked, and I’m not allowed my basic benefits or raises at all because apparently “the franchise doesn’t have money”. I’m also no longer able to work a set schedule, and I’m never allowed to request a day off for illness, family matters, or otherwise, in two years of work–which makes scheduling an interview difficult.
• I don’t feel happy at that company.
  I don’t get along well with my co-workers there.
  It is one of the most unorganized places I have worked at.
  My background doesn’t fit our current tasks very well, so I am not learning anything new that I can apply to elsewhere.
• Unhealthy environment. Becoming physically sick from the stress and demands

Are You Prepared to Quit? Statistics

77% have completed their spreadsheet to find out how long they can go without a job

85% have saved (or have access to) enough money for basic expenses for 6 months

59% have a general idea or specific plan about what they really want to do

81% thought about “the story” they will tell about “Just Quitting” (while between employment)

37% talked to others who have “Just Quit”

92% have thought about how the decision will impact their families

74% have determined the actual date that they can “Just Quit”

48% have already written their resignation letter

40% have thought about how they will celebrate when they “Just Quit”

 A couple of things that stood out to me about the above stats regarding preparing to Just Quit:

• Of everything on the checklist more than 90% of all respondents are thinking about the impact this decision will have on their families.  From my experience of being in a job that is making you miserable, yes,  you do have to talk to your family, BUT do not expect them to understand what you are going through.  They are not going through the emotional and physical turmoil that you are experiencing on this job.  Yes, you have to take their feelings and needs into account, BUT you have to do what is best for YOUR overall health or you will not be able to be there for your family.  STRESS IS REAL. This is where the careful “Just Quit” timing and planning is necessary.  The more you get into planning for your “Just Quit” date the more momentum starts to build towards being able to leave that job.
• A little less than 60% know what they really want to do. So in other words, 4 out of 10 people still don’t know what they want to do as a profession and/or what they would be happy doing. Again, if you don’t know what your talents and skills are and what you would be good at then you are likely to fall back into something that makes you miserable. I have done some research and think I might have found an online app from a company in Great Britain that might prove to be helpful in this area.  I need to check it out first before I post about it and recommend it.
• Because I know what it feels like to be miserable in a job I completely understand why only 40% have given any thought to how they will celebrate after they are out of their current work environments. Let me explain why it is important to think about celebrating.  A Celebration has to be planned because without that you could fall into a deep depression because there is no clear line of demarcation of the letting go process so the letting come new job/career/adventure process can take root.  If you don’t do anything else start just imagining your celebration.  There is something about visualizing the celebration that helps you to make it real!  Here’s how I celebrated:

I did NOT look back when I walked out of the building for the last time.   I kept walking forward, just continued  walking and  looking forward.  I didn’t know it then, but I know it now that that was very important for me not to look back at what I was letting go of but to look forward to what was coming.  When I was driving home I was screaming in joy and relief all the way down the interstate highway. When I got home I was so grateful that that period of my life was finally over.  I got dressed and went out to dinner at a restaurant with friends who had helped me through the Just Quit process. This was fun because it was almost like a victory for them as well to watch someone actually have the courage to leave a “great job” without another job to go to.   Then the big celebration was waking up when I was finished sleeping and not to an alarm clock to go to my daily appointment  – THE BEACH –  I went to the beach every single morning.  I enjoyed the sun, walking on the boardwalk, watching the waves, listening to the sounds of the ocean, and of course calling all my friends around the world to tell them that I had actually quit!!! So, think about how you will celebrate, it will propel you towards those experiences and make them happen.

• Only 3 out of 10 people have talked to others who have “Just Quit” to get some mentoring and guidance in this process.  I guess that’s what this blog is about. I’m calling on those who have “Just Quit” a job before having another one who have a story to tell.  Send me your story; let me post it for you.  Trust me you will help somebody.  Even if that somebody is just yourself.  There is something magical about getting your story out into the world.

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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined.

Henry David Thoreau

Nailing It To The Cross = Letting Go

The Jesus Story is a perfect example of  Letting Go to Let Come

It’s the time of year when Christians celebrate Easter.  Just like Christmas it can be commercialize and all about Bunny’s and Easter Egg Hunts.  There’s nothing wrong with that, it can be fun, especially for children.  But, as an adult, (no matter your religious beliefs) there is something deeper in this story that can help you to realize your full potential as a human being and give you a model for change and growth.

Letting Go = Good Friday = DYING to what is…

As the story goes, Jesus picked-up his cross and carried it to his death. We too have to face our burdens, our past poor decisions, our blind beliefs, our toxic relationships, our dead-end jobs, and our money problems. We have to look at ’em and recognize that it’s time to MAKE a CHANGE.  It’s time for your current reality to begin coming to an end.

Jesus was nailed to the cross. He hung there. He died. We too have to let go of those things that need to die in our lives. We might want to hang on and try to make things that are really dead not seem like they are, but in the end we have to let go of those thoughts, things, people, jobs, and places that have run their course.

In the Tunnel of Change = Jesus In The Tomb = TRANSFORMATION

Jesus was in the tomb for three days.  He was unseen. He was gone. Folks were wondering where He was and what would become of them and their world without Him in it.

Although Jesus was in the unknown realm, He was going through a transformation.

When you let go of “what is” you too will have to go through a transformation… AND… it is TOUGH.  Don’t think that it is not, because it is. When you are in the transformation stage of the growth process you are in-between “Letting Go” and “Letting Come”.  I call this phase The Tunnel of Change.  It can be dark and dank in the tunnel.   You don’t know how long you will be in the tunnel.  It could be 3 days or it could be 3 Years.

Sometimes when you are in this tunnel all you can do is hold on to knowing that you will get out of the tunnel, EVENTUALLY.  But, when you are in this tunnel there is a point that you get to that I like to call The Sweet Spot. 

The Sweet Spot is where you know that what you let go of is gone, you can’t get it back, and  most importantly you don’t want it back, don’t want to look back, and don’t want to go back.

Think about a love relationship that you let go of.   You struggled to let go of this relationship and when you finally did you didn’t immediately feel good.  There was a lot of built up momentum of thoughts, memories and history that you had to work through.  You wondered if you made the right decision, and at the right time.  You missed the person.  You might have even wanted them back because you were so lonely.

This is the absolutely miserable part of the beginning of a transformation process. You have to work through this initial walk through the tunnel (dark night of the soul) in order to make it to the sweet spot. 

When you get to the sweet spot, in the example of the love relationship: even though you are still alone, you KNOW you made the right decision.  You KNOW that person was hindering your growth.  Yes, you ARE still alone, but you KNOW at some point that someone  new will come into your life. You don’t know when, but you begin to anticipate what is to “come”. You are so proud of yourself for letting go of “what was” , because it was NOT and NEVER would have worked for you and your future.   

In the sweet spot you are  closer to the “letting come” phase then you are from the “letting go” phase.

When you get to the sweet spot in the tunnel of change start to use your time to grow and get ready for the new thing that’s coming. Prepare yourself with some deliberate choices  and actions.  In the example of the love relationship: you might start or continue to get in good physical shape, take care of your body, mind and spirit.  Start doing activities that YOU enjoy, and be the type of person that YOU want to be with.  Be thinking about not necessarily the checklist of the person you want to manifest in your life, but more importantly how YOU want that person to make YOU feel. You need to know what you want to come your way, or you might miss it when it shows up.

Something or someone new is going to come, you might as well be a part of making it happen and co-creating it with the universe.  Until you get REALLY clear on your intentions then, yes, something is going to come, but it might be similar to what you just let go of…that’s no fun…you then have to go through letting go of something/someone very similar to what you just let go of because you didn’t learn that particular life lesson the first time…bummer…

Letting Come = Easter Sunday = RESURRECTION

As the story goes, Jesus is no longer in the tomb.  He has risen. He is the Christ. He is completely spiritual, and no longer housed in a human body.  He is now within.  Within what you might ask?  Within every heart that has lived and will live on the earth.  He had to let go of his earthly life in order for this spiritual realization (Kingdom) to come.

There is something more, something better, more fulfilling and better aligned for you as well:   A New Job, A New Relationship, A New Town, A New Business, A New Body, A New Baby, A New Spiritual Walk, A New Career,  A New .. fill in the blank…

I am not sure where you are in the Letting Go to Let Come process right now, but no matter where you are, know that all of life is about letting go to let come.

It always has been since you were born (letting come/or letting go depending on how you look at it) and always will be until you die (letting go/or letting come depending on how you look at it). 

Don’t be afraid of Good Friday and Death (to what is) because Easter Sunday and Resurrection (what will be) is coming. 

Now…What Do You Know For Sure That You Need To Let Go Of?  That’s Your Just Quit Thing…Let It or Them Go…Just Do ONE Thing TODAY to Start the Process of Creating Your Future Self and Life

This Time...Play to WIN

 “You can’t stop the future
You can’t rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
…is to press play.”  – Jay Asher

How things converged this week to lead to:

This Time…Play to WIN

• Researching “Controlling Emotions” for a training session and exercise that I need to design for work: Learning about brain physiology, automatic thoughts, and freeze framing.
• Started Coursera Course entitled “Know Thyself” and learning about: Socrates, components of the self, the difference between emotions and moods and bamboo breathing.
• Discovering and trying  a new art medium transferring ink onto wood which allows for a massive opportunity for me to create beyond my drawing ability: when you follow your bliss doors open that weren’t there before – Joseph Campbell
• Finishing an interesting book about developing strategy called Playing to Win.  Although the book is about

  

  Play to WIN

  corporate strategy and what P&G did in particular, as I read it all I keep thinking about was how this could be used for an individual life.  I created a model for myself to use for the next year based on the basic principles:

1. Don’t just play the game of life, play to WIN the game
2. Define what WINNING will look like in all areas of my life
3. Figure out WHERE to play to WIN
4. Figure out HOW to play to WIN
5. Figure out WHO I want on my team of life who also wants to WIN
6. Play to My Strengths, and
7. Manage What Matters Most

1. A practical example of using the model to make a decision: Going out to dinner with a boyfriend from my past who was in town from California. Although I was VERY tempted and the mental chatter in my head kept making statements like : “how bad could it be”,  “it’s couldn’t hurt”, “it’s just dinner, just go”  –   BUT –  I quickly went through the WINNING model and it didn’t fit in playing to WIN in any way possible for ME, (for him maybe – apparently – but not for me ). So, my final answer was a clear and definitive: “NO, I’m not interested, but I hope that you have fun while you’re in town”.  And most importantly I meant it, that I hoped he had fun, but I was choosing not to be apart of it. SCORE!  A deliberate choice that was focused on the best use of my time and energy for the weekend. 

To win you have to make conscious choices.

You have to decide.

When you make a choice you are letting go of ALL THE OTHER CHOICES you could have made. When you are clear on what winning looks like for your life, then the choices are easier to make  – because –  you KNOW what fits and more importantly what doesn’t fit in your winning strategy.

…all the above lead me to…This Time…”Gonna love myself more than anyone else. Gonna treat me right. Won’t let my emotions rule my life. Gonna be my own best friend. I’m going to be the one to WIN”.  

WHY NOT???  

NO MORE JUST PARTICIPATING IN THE GAME.

PLAY TO WIN!

Play to Win:

Examine Your Life

Check Your Emotions

& 

Follow Your Bliss

 

Just Quit Your Job Survey Results - February 2013

Thanks to those who have completed our newly created survey.  I have summarized the stats below. From your comments I know that many of you are really hurting at this time.  I understand how you feel.  I’ve been there and can assure that if you stay with this and be true to yourself you will make the right decision at the right time.

Please know that you are not alone and that you are not crazy.  

Be FEARLESS – Get past your fear and when you do you will understand that it’s only a feeling and none of those fears may actually be real.

You have to Let Go in Order to Let Come.

Summary of Results For February 2013

13 Respondents; More Females than Males; 50%  Earned <$50,000; 3 Countries, 9 States in the U.S.;  Various Reasons People Feel They Need To Quit; Preparations – Most have thought about how the decision will impact their family and children, only 30% are at the point where they have written their resignation letter; 70 % have saved enough money for six months (wonderful!); over 50% know what they “really” want to do.

Below are the Actual Survey Results:

Gender:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Income:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comment: Although the income looks less in US dollars, the paycheck (my sole source of income) is good in Indian rupees.

Locations:

3 Countries – Asia (Singapore)/Canada/United States

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nine States in the U.S.A.:  

Ohio, Washington, New York, Illinois, Massachusetts, California, Iowa, New Jersey, Connecticut

 

Why Are You Thinking About Quitting Your Job Without Another One? Comments Below:

• No respect at my job. Low pay. Lots of stress. My body is getting sick all the time. Not able to spend enough quality time with my family. Not happy at all. I despise waking up every day coming to the office.
• I hate it. I feel like I’m wasting my life. There are so many things I want to do, but I don’t have the time or energy because of my job. What if I only live once?
• stress and family
• I’m bored. I’m stale. I’m repeating myself and not learning. I don’t share the values of the organization.
• I want to be there for my kids
• Because I hate my life.
• I lose a lot of time on work and cannot pursue my interests which in turn cannot be created into a career that I want to create it into. So, it a vicious cycle of making ends meet so that we have some money to pursue what we really like, but lose time for pursuing the things we truly like. And we get back in the cycle of earning more money and trading time.

Are You Prepared to Quit?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

General Comments:

• This blog/site is so validating! Everyone says “wait, wait” but my heart and cortisol levels are telling me to get the hell out! Thank you, thank you.
• Want to leave and I almost prepared, but the following leaves me confused:

–Got a good package that got my entire family out of poverty
–Sole breadwinner
–Have a work-from-home offer (in my hometown where jobs are close to none)

I have had no problem leaving jobs in the past (without another offer), but this offer is seemingly difficult. Never had a work-from-home (my hometown) offer. Have left jobs when I was in the city, so leaving was never an issue.

I do not want to leave my hometown as I have been struggling for over five years to come back…and have finally come back.

What to do?

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The Below Is A Quote From Warren Buffett

 “There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want. Take a job that you love. You will jump out of bed in the morning. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?”  

Waves of One Ocean

My First Attempt At
Making Stamped
Jewelry

I Read The Below On A Yoga Website

    Wisdom to live by and share with others:

• There is only one highest reality and many teachers.

• All humans and life arise from the same one source.

• All countries, religions and institutions arise from that same one source.

• There are many books of wisdom from many ages.

• Thinking there is only one way comes from ignorance.

• Coercive conversion is violence against other peoples.

• The goal of life is found within, not in institutions.

• Wisdom, joy and freedom come from inner stillness.

• Love all, as we are all waves of the one ocean.

Tell Your Story

“To be a person is to have a story to tell.” ~Isak Dinesen

Everybody has a story.

You have a story.

Everybody you meet today has a story.

We all have stories.

Your mom has (had) a story. Your dad has (had) a story.  Your ancestors, your children and their children all have or will have stories. 

Nina Simone was a FABULOUS piano player and she had her story. Here she is making up a song as she goes along…and telling us to “tell our story”.  She says towards the end that “we always, we always, we always have a story” and plays the piano with passion as she goes in the creative zone.

 

 What’s Your Story? Are You Telling It? Will You Listen To Someone Else’s Story Today?  They Want to Tell Their Story Too.   Letting Go (of What Is) & Letting Come (What Could Be) Is a Story of Transformation.

Don’t be Afraid To Let Go (of something/someone/some place) that you know that you need to let go of. If it no longer fits and no longer works for who you have become, then let it go. It Will Just Be Part of YOUR Story, so have courage and LET GO…(go into the tunnel of the unknown, you’ll come out on the other side)…LET COME the future that wants to emerge as a part of YOUR story.

Here is Nina Simone singing and playing “Feelings” with so much feeling…at about 3:10 she is simply amazing –   

Reflecting on Love, Pain and Letting Go

 

Love and pain go hand-in-hand don’t they?  The more you “love” the more “pain” you have when you lose what you love.

Love a person…you break up, you get divorced or they die

Love your looks…they’ll fade

Love your body…it gets old, maybe you get fat, or even get cancer

Love your car…you hear funny sounds and it breaks down

Love your house…it needs repairs

Love your children…they don’t call because they’ve got their own lives

Love your grandchildren…they think you’re old and out of touch

Love your husband…he cheats on you

Love your wife…she cheats too (maybe she’s smarter about it, so you don’t even suspect it)

Love your job…it’s just a job and you get laid off or are worried about getting laid off

Love your money…it can only buy you stuff and more stuff and if you have a lot of money you’re wondering why the hell you aren’t happier!

Love your flower garden…it dies in the winter

Love your college degrees…yep you worked hard to get them and you spent a lot of money but sometimes those degrees are W-O-R-T-H-L-E-S-S.  You could have went on-line and got the information for free if you’d known exactly what you were interested in learning.  Don’t believe me? Here ya go…Coursera...free college courses from some of the top Universities…all free

Love your clothes…they get too small

Love your friends…guess what you confused being  THEIR friend with them being YOURS…they never were really there for you

Love celebrities…they are people too…they’re just faking it acting like they’re making it

Love your pets…they cost you money and then they die and then THAT cost you money

Love your life…you’ll die too…one day…it’s really hard to accept it, but it’s true

Face it, life is about changing and growing which is all about letting go.

Yes, I agree that this post might seem “negative”, but “negative” is an aspect of life.  Until you embrace that you’ll be running around thinking everything is suppose to be “positive”. That ain’t how life works.

Keep on loving, but realize that a part of loving is losing and it hurts.  You will be in pain. You have to learn to embrace both the love and the pain of loving.

I heard the below last night on NPR’s Moth Radio Hour.  It made me think of how we need to take the “clown” mask off our face and live our lives embracing both the “best of times and the worse of times”. We need  to have compassion for ourselves and for others because everyone is “dealing” with something.

As  the below will show you (be prepared it might bring up some strong emotions) sometimes you have to “man-up” and take life head-on — letting go of one thing after the other — until you get down to the core of who you are and what you’re made of.