Looking at that broken glass and broken heart…hurts…doesn’t it? But this is how it is in love and in relationships…sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you will get hurt and it’s painful.
When we are in pain we start to blame others for “hurting us”. Just like we have to let go of some relationships we have to let go of the anger we may feel towards the people who hurt us in those relationships. Remember people don’t hurt you without hurting themselves too. Sometimes the way they treat you is more about how they feel about themselves then how they feel about you.
Still… it’s difficult to let go of anger once you’ve been hurt, because sometimes you just WANT to be angry… because you’re hurting…because someone…
~Said something to hurt you
~Did something to hurt you
~Didn’t do or didn’t say something and THAT hurt you
~Let you down
~Wasn’t there for you when you needed them
~Disappointed you
There are many ways that we can be hurt by others, and yes, it is painful. But let that go for just a minute.
Let go of what they said, what they did, how they let you down, how they disappointed you and how you feel, just for a minute.
When you look behind the pain you feel, you begin to realize that pain (like love) is just a part of life.
Feeling this pain might be what allows you to move on – realizing that it’s a part of life and life is about growth.
This maybe when you’re suppose to move on – when you are in so much pain and the pain you feel is so intense that it cuts you open.
They may have done you a favor by showing you how they feel about you. Maybe they spared you from YEARS of more pain. The universe may have supplied the answer that you have been seeking, by allowing this to happen, and helping you to let go of them and not trying to “fix it”.
Just be grateful for your life, your experiences, even the pain, and the hurt, and the anger that you might feel.
Everything will be alright — if you can let go –of trying to fix it — of trying to make it work out — maybe letting go of them and the anger you feel towards them is the way it is supposed to work out.
At the end of the day, the type of connection that has to be apart of any lasting love relationship has to include someone who knows your heart…and is not trying to break it.
A man who makes you feel like you’re the only girl in the world.
This song when sang by Lianne La Havas is just so AMAZING because you can actually hear and “feel” the words the way she sings it.
Does the below depict your love life? If not, rethink it, rekindle it, rework it, or let go of what you have and let come a love life…that makes you feel like you’re the only girl in the world…
I looked at the trail that it had made in the sky.
I didn’t have my phone on me and had to walk back to the car to get it to take the above picture, but the plane was long gone by the time I got back to that spot.
This made me think that we can get STUCK in our daily lives…daily problems…daily jobs…daily folks we talk to…daily stuff and
drift through life
– OR –
we can LOOK UP…
look beyond our daily lives, problems, jobs, folks, stuff and
REALLY live the life that we’ve imagined.
Really let go of what is …to allow what could be… to come into your life.
It’s a simple choice really…get busy living or get busy dying…
A friend, who is going through a transitional time right now, said he felt like he was on an emotional roller coaster.
That made me think that life is like a roller coaster ride.
When you are born you get on the ride of the living.
During your life you go through the ups and downs.
There are months or years of lulls which are the straight-aways and then it’s either a small up and small down (small changes) or a steep up (highs) followed by a deep downs (lows).
There is always another high coming from the low, you can count on that.
Even though you might go through some twists and turns before you get to the next high…you know it’s coming…so expect it. (That’s how I feel about finances – if you’ve had money before you know what that high feels like and you know how to orchestrate it to come your way again …it’s coming).
Just like the roller coaster ride I went on my entire childhood at Buckroe Beach (pictured above), we all knew what to expect:
You knew you were going to be afraid, but you went on the ride because you wanted the thrill of the adventure.
The roller coaster was the ride that had the longest line (the next longest was the bumper cars).
EVERYONE wanted to get on the roller coaster – (Even though this roller coaster was old, rickety and was made of wood!!!)…still….you wanted to get on that ride.
You wanted to be jerked around and scared out of your wits. (Why? You felt alive on that ride!)
You would eventually come to the end of the ride and then what would you do? You’d get back in line to go again of course! (Give it another go!)
This is how life and life situations should be viewed.
You know it’s a little frightening because it’s the unknown around every turn – health issues, money issues, relationship issues, issues of life and death…
…but, it’s okay…
just go with the downs (letting go)
and go with the ups (letting come)
It will be fine and CAN be thrilling once you realize that it’s-just-a-ride.
Life is just like a roller coaster…it’s just a ride.
This is what it looks and sounds like when you discover your passion, pursue it and just go for it.
This is what it looks like when you don’t settle for some 8-5 job that you aren’t passionate about.
This is what it looks like when you give your gift to the family of the world.
“Listen Girl,
Learn How to Love Yourself Again
And Then Just Fly Out Girl ‘Cause
You’re Worth It
The Black Parts Need To Be Loved As Well.”
~ Selah Sue
This World
Break
What are you good at?
What are you passionate about?
What is YOUR gift to the family of the world?
(only you can give that gift…no one else…stop wasting your talents and time doing something you aren’t passionate about…even if the money is good..find your passion and everything else will fall into place)
Have you ever just allowed your thoughts to happen?
Your mind is chattering all the time – most of the time without any real awareness from you – but have you just allowed it to go on and on AND just noticed it?
It is an interesting thing to do – just allowing your thoughts to happen.
Not trying to change them. Not trying to stop them. Not trying to control them. Just Allowing Them. Just Watching Them.
Trust Life. Allow Don’t Force
When you completely allow them to happen – even the scariest ones – it brings a level of peace that is hard to really understand.
Once you allow the fear in and just face it, it gets smaller.
When you are “fearless” and allow the fearful thoughts they cower away like a bully who has met its match.
Total Allowing (& The Source of This Term)
I’ve been practicing this – total allowing – for a several months now after finding one of the best blogs on planet earth…at least to me…called Calm Down Mind. There is information in his posts that truly resonant with me. It’s like a foreign language that I understand and have been looking for FOREVER.
Below is an example of how allowing played out during the month of July: (the below will seem “bad”, but these things were going to happen anyway, so, it’s more a matter of how I reacted to them than to the facts themselves)
The air conditioner went out in the heat of summer. “Oh no! How much will that cost?” was the first thing that came to mind. Major system repairs are the greatest fear of homeowners because it’s a major expense. I actually was VERY fearful, but I just allowed the fearful thoughts. I really paid attention to how I felt, the emotions that were causing sensations in my body. It was really very bad. I even wrote about it, just typed out how I was feeling in a word document just to get it out and put it in writing. The Solution: The compressor only needed Freon. It happened to be R-22, which is expensive (long story), but not a MAJOR expense. Calamity averted!
Then a week later the air conditioner went out again. This time I wasn’t afraid as much. Not the overwhelming – “What am I going to do type of fear”. It became rather matter of fact for me. Call the company back, be home for them to come out, deal with whatever was wrong with the unit.
This time I needed a new coil – $1300. It’s gets worse. The compressor worked, but the compressor takes the “old” R-22 refrigerate and if I use that compressor with a new coil when the compressor did die (and it was at the end of its life) I’ll then need another new coil as well because you can’t mix the old and a new refrigerate in the same coil.
Okay – it’s a purchasing decision – I needed a new coil and compressor. I negotiated the price down to $4000 after learning all about the two pieces of equipment. But, honestly who has $4,000 just lying around and accessible these days? Still I didn’t panic. My mind kept telling me to be afraid and all the reasons I should be panicking, but I wasn’t afraid. I just allowed those thoughts in and went back to thinking about my options. I could find the money. Still not panicking. I just kept wondering – “why aren’t you afraid?” I felt I should have been afraid because I really couldn’t afford this $4000 expense, but I wasn’t panicked.
Then I get the call that you NEVER want to get. Death in your family. Not just any family member but your mother. So, your air is out to the tune of $4,000 to get it replaced and your mother just died. Still. Don’t. Panic. The air conditioner situation seemed really small after knowing that my mother had just died — tiny.
Dealing with all the emotions that were whirling around and in me during the week before my mother’s funeral and the day of the funeral were truly one of a kind. That’s another blog…
Coming back from the funeral to a hot-house and having to endure it for a week until I could schedule the repairman. There were some moments I got fearful because I was dizzy and almost fainted in the 104 degree heated house. It felt like a sauna, even at night, but I allowed that as well and just experienced it. All I kept thinking about was how grateful I would be once I had air back. I just did not want to forget how miserable I was then, so I could remain grateful later on. Then I contemplated growing up without air conditioner for 18 years and thought of all the people over the world who don’t have air conditioner now.
Basically what I learned over the month of July 2012 was that “total allowing” – works. It’s not easy and it takes work, but it does work. Those times during that first week of mourning my mother that I tried to force something it really backfired because strong or misplaced emotions came roaring back. It is NOT easy to allow your thoughts and to act and not react to things that are happening, but it is a step towards growth, and trust in the universe, and in God (as you know God to be), and knowing that everything is working out as it should.
Fear starts in the mind and in the thoughts, but when you don’t allow the frightening ones they don’t go away.
You try to abort them and they don’t die.
They come back with a vengeance.
So, part of letting go… is letting go of trying to control your thoughts – out of fear of those thoughts.
