This Time...Play to WIN

 “You can’t stop the future
You can’t rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret
…is to press play.”  – Jay Asher

How things converged this week to lead to:

This Time…Play to WIN

• Researching “Controlling Emotions” for a training session and exercise that I need to design for work: Learning about brain physiology, automatic thoughts, and freeze framing.
• Started Coursera Course entitled “Know Thyself” and learning about: Socrates, components of the self, the difference between emotions and moods and bamboo breathing.
• Discovering and trying  a new art medium transferring ink onto wood which allows for a massive opportunity for me to create beyond my drawing ability: when you follow your bliss doors open that weren’t there before – Joseph Campbell
• Finishing an interesting book about developing strategy called Playing to Win.  Although the book is about

  

  Play to WIN

  corporate strategy and what P&G did in particular, as I read it all I keep thinking about was how this could be used for an individual life.  I created a model for myself to use for the next year based on the basic principles:

1. Don’t just play the game of life, play to WIN the game
2. Define what WINNING will look like in all areas of my life
3. Figure out WHERE to play to WIN
4. Figure out HOW to play to WIN
5. Figure out WHO I want on my team of life who also wants to WIN
6. Play to My Strengths, and
7. Manage What Matters Most

1. A practical example of using the model to make a decision: Going out to dinner with a boyfriend from my past who was in town from California. Although I was VERY tempted and the mental chatter in my head kept making statements like : “how bad could it be”,  “it’s couldn’t hurt”, “it’s just dinner, just go”  –   BUT –  I quickly went through the WINNING model and it didn’t fit in playing to WIN in any way possible for ME, (for him maybe – apparently – but not for me ). So, my final answer was a clear and definitive: “NO, I’m not interested, but I hope that you have fun while you’re in town”.  And most importantly I meant it, that I hoped he had fun, but I was choosing not to be apart of it. SCORE!  A deliberate choice that was focused on the best use of my time and energy for the weekend. 

To win you have to make conscious choices.

You have to decide.

When you make a choice you are letting go of ALL THE OTHER CHOICES you could have made. When you are clear on what winning looks like for your life, then the choices are easier to make  – because –  you KNOW what fits and more importantly what doesn’t fit in your winning strategy.

…all the above lead me to…This Time…”Gonna love myself more than anyone else. Gonna treat me right. Won’t let my emotions rule my life. Gonna be my own best friend. I’m going to be the one to WIN”.  

WHY NOT???  

NO MORE JUST PARTICIPATING IN THE GAME.

PLAY TO WIN!

Play to Win:

Examine Your Life

Check Your Emotions

& 

Follow Your Bliss

 

Just Quit Your Job Survey Results - February 2013

Thanks to those who have completed our newly created survey.  I have summarized the stats below. From your comments I know that many of you are really hurting at this time.  I understand how you feel.  I’ve been there and can assure that if you stay with this and be true to yourself you will make the right decision at the right time.

Please know that you are not alone and that you are not crazy.  

Be FEARLESS – Get past your fear and when you do you will understand that it’s only a feeling and none of those fears may actually be real.

You have to Let Go in Order to Let Come.

Summary of Results For February 2013

13 Respondents; More Females than Males; 50%  Earned <$50,000; 3 Countries, 9 States in the U.S.;  Various Reasons People Feel They Need To Quit; Preparations – Most have thought about how the decision will impact their family and children, only 30% are at the point where they have written their resignation letter; 70 % have saved enough money for six months (wonderful!); over 50% know what they “really” want to do.

Below are the Actual Survey Results:

Gender:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Income:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comment: Although the income looks less in US dollars, the paycheck (my sole source of income) is good in Indian rupees.

Locations:

3 Countries – Asia (Singapore)/Canada/United States

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nine States in the U.S.A.:  

Ohio, Washington, New York, Illinois, Massachusetts, California, Iowa, New Jersey, Connecticut

 

Why Are You Thinking About Quitting Your Job Without Another One? Comments Below:

• No respect at my job. Low pay. Lots of stress. My body is getting sick all the time. Not able to spend enough quality time with my family. Not happy at all. I despise waking up every day coming to the office.
• I hate it. I feel like I’m wasting my life. There are so many things I want to do, but I don’t have the time or energy because of my job. What if I only live once?
• stress and family
• I’m bored. I’m stale. I’m repeating myself and not learning. I don’t share the values of the organization.
• I want to be there for my kids
• Because I hate my life.
• I lose a lot of time on work and cannot pursue my interests which in turn cannot be created into a career that I want to create it into. So, it a vicious cycle of making ends meet so that we have some money to pursue what we really like, but lose time for pursuing the things we truly like. And we get back in the cycle of earning more money and trading time.

Are You Prepared to Quit?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

General Comments:

• This blog/site is so validating! Everyone says “wait, wait” but my heart and cortisol levels are telling me to get the hell out! Thank you, thank you.
• Want to leave and I almost prepared, but the following leaves me confused:

–Got a good package that got my entire family out of poverty
–Sole breadwinner
–Have a work-from-home offer (in my hometown where jobs are close to none)

I have had no problem leaving jobs in the past (without another offer), but this offer is seemingly difficult. Never had a work-from-home (my hometown) offer. Have left jobs when I was in the city, so leaving was never an issue.

I do not want to leave my hometown as I have been struggling for over five years to come back…and have finally come back.

What to do?

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The Below Is A Quote From Warren Buffett

 “There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want. Take a job that you love. You will jump out of bed in the morning. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?”  

Waves of One Ocean

My First Attempt At
Making Stamped
Jewelry

I Read The Below On A Yoga Website

    Wisdom to live by and share with others:

• There is only one highest reality and many teachers.

• All humans and life arise from the same one source.

• All countries, religions and institutions arise from that same one source.

• There are many books of wisdom from many ages.

• Thinking there is only one way comes from ignorance.

• Coercive conversion is violence against other peoples.

• The goal of life is found within, not in institutions.

• Wisdom, joy and freedom come from inner stillness.

• Love all, as we are all waves of the one ocean.

Tell Your Story

“To be a person is to have a story to tell.” ~Isak Dinesen

Everybody has a story.

You have a story.

Everybody you meet today has a story.

We all have stories.

Your mom has (had) a story. Your dad has (had) a story.  Your ancestors, your children and their children all have or will have stories. 

Nina Simone was a FABULOUS piano player and she had her story. Here she is making up a song as she goes along…and telling us to “tell our story”.  She says towards the end that “we always, we always, we always have a story” and plays the piano with passion as she goes in the creative zone.

 

 What’s Your Story? Are You Telling It? Will You Listen To Someone Else’s Story Today?  They Want to Tell Their Story Too.   Letting Go (of What Is) & Letting Come (What Could Be) Is a Story of Transformation.

Don’t be Afraid To Let Go (of something/someone/some place) that you know that you need to let go of. If it no longer fits and no longer works for who you have become, then let it go. It Will Just Be Part of YOUR Story, so have courage and LET GO…(go into the tunnel of the unknown, you’ll come out on the other side)…LET COME the future that wants to emerge as a part of YOUR story.

Here is Nina Simone singing and playing “Feelings” with so much feeling…at about 3:10 she is simply amazing –   

Reflecting on Love, Pain and Letting Go

 

Love and pain go hand-in-hand don’t they?  The more you “love” the more “pain” you have when you lose what you love.

Love a person…you break up, you get divorced or they die

Love your looks…they’ll fade

Love your body…it gets old, maybe you get fat, or even get cancer

Love your car…you hear funny sounds and it breaks down

Love your house…it needs repairs

Love your children…they don’t call because they’ve got their own lives

Love your grandchildren…they think you’re old and out of touch

Love your husband…he cheats on you

Love your wife…she cheats too (maybe she’s smarter about it, so you don’t even suspect it)

Love your job…it’s just a job and you get laid off or are worried about getting laid off

Love your money…it can only buy you stuff and more stuff and if you have a lot of money you’re wondering why the hell you aren’t happier!

Love your flower garden…it dies in the winter

Love your college degrees…yep you worked hard to get them and you spent a lot of money but sometimes those degrees are W-O-R-T-H-L-E-S-S.  You could have went on-line and got the information for free if you’d known exactly what you were interested in learning.  Don’t believe me? Here ya go…Coursera...free college courses from some of the top Universities…all free

Love your clothes…they get too small

Love your friends…guess what you confused being  THEIR friend with them being YOURS…they never were really there for you

Love celebrities…they are people too…they’re just faking it acting like they’re making it

Love your pets…they cost you money and then they die and then THAT cost you money

Love your life…you’ll die too…one day…it’s really hard to accept it, but it’s true

Face it, life is about changing and growing which is all about letting go.

Yes, I agree that this post might seem “negative”, but “negative” is an aspect of life.  Until you embrace that you’ll be running around thinking everything is suppose to be “positive”. That ain’t how life works.

Keep on loving, but realize that a part of loving is losing and it hurts.  You will be in pain. You have to learn to embrace both the love and the pain of loving.

I heard the below last night on NPR’s Moth Radio Hour.  It made me think of how we need to take the “clown” mask off our face and live our lives embracing both the “best of times and the worse of times”. We need  to have compassion for ourselves and for others because everyone is “dealing” with something.

As  the below will show you (be prepared it might bring up some strong emotions) sometimes you have to “man-up” and take life head-on — letting go of one thing after the other — until you get down to the core of who you are and what you’re made of.

Let Go of The Clowns in Your Life

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed

by the things you didn’t do,

then by the things you did do. 

So throw off the bowlines. 

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore.  Dream.  Discover.      

Mark Twain

A Clown that was in my office. He twirled around on a spindle.  He fell and broke. I looked at it and thought:”Don’t put the clowns back together that are in your life, leave them broken.” I glued the broken pieces onto a piece of wood instead of gluing them back together and made this plaque entitled                 NO MORE CLOWNS

The Clowns:

Habits…that don’t serve you

People…that don’t like you

Food…that doesn’t taste good

Beliefs…that aren’t questioned

Friends…that aren’t there for you

Thoughts…that run like broken records

Pleasing Others…even though it makes you miserable

Not Doing Stuff…because of what others may think

Putting Things Off…you know eventually you’ll have to do

Reliving The Past…that you can’t bring back

Closing Your Heart…because you’ve been hurt

Doing Work…that doesn’t serve others

Doing Work…that hurts others

Lying To Yourself…about yourself

Denying The Truth…as you discover it

Settling for “what is” or “who is” or “where you are”

Wasting Your Life

Being Afraid…To Let Go

What are the Clowns in Your Life?

The Clowns are a metaphor for things that you need to let go of. Things that have run its course.Things that are holding you back. 

Just let them go.  Don’t keep fixing them up.  

If you don’t let them go you can’t  EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER. the life that is waiting for you. It’s waiting on you, but you have to sail away from the safe harbor  (the known for the unknown).

Should You Quit Your Job Without Another One Lined Up?

In the below survey link is a list of things you need to do to quit your job without another one lined up:

Just Quit Your Job Survey

I created this survey because of the number of emails that I get from folks who are so miserable in their current job situations.   Also, I don’t see any real help out there on the internet to help people make this decision.

There is a little bit of fear in courage…just a little bit…

• Quitting without another job takes courage.  It’s a tough decision. Don’t expect this process to be easy. It’s NOT going to easy, but it can be very rewarding.
  
• Quitting without another job takes planning.  You might be really miserable in your current job, but you didn’t get here overnight and you are not going to get out of it overnight either.  If you fail to plan, you WILL fail in this endeavor. What you will find when you start planning for quitting without another job lined up is the EXCITEMENT about the POSSIBILITIES for your life and your future.  
• Quitting without another job, is at the end of the day YOUR decision.  It is NOT, however, one of those life decisions to make lightly.

I hope the survey helps you, or  someone you know who might be struggling trying to make this decision.

You can only have two things in life,

Reasons or Results.

Reasons don’t count.

~ Dr. Robert Anthony